Tag Archives: death

July 2, 2014

Where is God?

By valencia68

Suffering is a part of the human condition. Hope is a virtue necessary for survival. To have hope, one must have faith – in something. For many of us, faith in the good news of the gospel is what we grew up with and what we crawl back to in times of suffering. Perhaps we were heavily churched and always in a relationship with Christ. Maybe we knew of Him, were on the edge of discovering Him, the verge of knowing Him, or the fringe of a relationship with Him. Perhaps we deliberately left Him in defiance or in search of ourselves only to discover that since we were made in His image, finding our true selves is completely dependent on communing with Him. Whether it was our desire to alleviate the emptiness found in the foxhole of overindulgence, the anguish ignited by the wars of jealousy and oppression, or our realization that God’s good living is better than the best of our own ways, we are with Him now. Our faith in Him gives us hope for a great today and a better tomorrow. We all go through this thing called suffering and are typically better for it on the other side. Three years ago to the day, my sanity slowly slipped away; not rooted, I fell into the gray; an in-between, unfamiliar place. I was floating. Uncertain, yet not so unaware; the answers were begging to be shared; everything reflected everywhere; and I was blinded by the glare. Misread, misunderstood. Welcome to the human race! The starting line appeared without warning. The gun was shot, but the sound was much too faint. Now I, I’m in the human race. (Janna Audey – Human Race)

I heard two stories of suffering this week that touched my heart to its core. One was of an unforgettable boy who lived in an always forgotten spot up in the darkest cut in the deepest, most backwoods part of the hood. The other was of a memorable boy who lived in a beautiful home in a prominent suburb with all of the amenities one could desire. The two are stories of innocence lost in tragic events that changed the trajectory of both of their 3-year old lives. Faith makes me believe that there will be hope for the future in the first instance and belief in God’s faithfulness to His people that hope is alive in the second case.

The first story is that of a little boy who lived in a local inner city multi-family block of buildings – a place riddled with aggression, violence and gang activity. The complex is so negatively intense that pestilence, misery, brutality and savagery are pillars so strong that they can be felt like static electricity in the air. There is a one-way descend in and a one-way climb back out. On approach to the entrance, the sensory overload of screaming voices, slamming doors, drug-scented air, gun fire in the distance, and rodents rustling amongst the masses, can be overwhelming. Yet inside, infants and toddlers crawl and amble through the fierceness of these forces; sometimes cared for, other times not even noticed. Sometimes the sounds of their innocence (crying) disturb the hostility masquerading as peace simply because there is sixty seconds of silence. A little boy passed away. His cause of death was blunt force trauma and his body was found in a nearby dumpster. A father figure member of his household is allegedly being sought for questioning. Where was God that night?

The second was the story of a little boy who was enjoying the company of extended family on a sunny summer weekend in the comforts of his beautiful suburban home. The accidental spill of gasoline in a utility room and his relative’s attempt to clean it up without noticing that there was a gas powered hot water heater nearby, caused an explosion. The fire that followed shorted out the house’s electrical system and trapped his relative inside. Although his father was able to move him to safety, the little boy watched him break windows with his bear arms in futile attempts to save the relative’s life. When his father finally reached their relative, it was too late. The boy not only lost an intimate loved one but was also left to hold his father’s sopping crimson-colored fileted arms together until emergency personnel could arrive. Where was God that day?

Matt Redman’s lyrical version of Job 1:21 gives us guidance during those times: Blessed be Your name. When the sun’s shining down on me; when the world’s ‘all as it should be, blessed be Your name. Blessed be Your name on the road marked with suffering. Though there’s pain in the offering, blessed be Your name. Every blessing You pour out, I’ll turn back to praise. When the darkness closes in, Lord, still I will say blessed be the name of the Lord. Blessed be Your name. Blessed be the name of the Lord. Blessed be Your glorious name. You give and take away. You give and take away. My heart will choose to say, Lord, blessed be Your name (Blessed be the Name of the Lord).

Where was God in the life-altering experiences of these two boys? I do not have the answers to what He was doing or why, but I believe that both events were always a part of His plan to pursue His lost people and bring them back into a relationship with Him. He was there – with the knowledge that the anguish suffered was not eternal, but the life given as a result would be. Although very difficult to understand, in the squalor as well as the sunshine, these two boys were counted worthy by Him to serve a heavenly purpose. While one’s innocent soul has been lifted up and is permanently residing with the Father, the other has become a Godly man who is living out the gospel through his ministry of music with his earthly father. Grant it, God did not cause this wretchedness and despair to occur, but he did allow it to happen in furtherance of His kingdom and will use it for the good of mankind. In the book of Job, Job questioned God about why He put him through so many difficulties and hard times. God listened to Job for a while and then reminded him that He is God and there is a plan. As Job heard God, he understood and repented. God – “Why do you confuse the issue? Why do you talk without knowing what you’re talking about? Pull yourself together, Job! Up on your feet! Stand tall! ‘Can you catch the eye of the beautiful Pleiades sisters, or distract Orion from his hunt? Can you get Venus to look your way, or get the Great Bear and her cubs to come out and play? Do you know the first thing about the sky’s constellations and how they affect things on Earth?” Job – “I’m convinced: You can do anything and everything. Nothing and no one can upset your plans. You asked, ‘Who is this muddying the water, ignorantly confusing the issue, second-guessing my purposes?’ I admit it. I was the one. I babbled on about things far beyond me, made small talk about wonders way over my head. You told me, ‘Listen, and let me do the talking. Let me ask the questions. You give the answers.’ I admit I once lived by rumors of you; now I have it all firsthand—from my own eyes and ears! I’m sorry—forgive me. I’ll never do that again, I promise!  I’ll never again live on crusts of hearsay, crumbs of rumor.” (Job 38:2-3, 31-33 & 42:1-6 – MSG)

My reflection on the two events has me here:
1. To be hurt is to be human
2. Suffering is all around us
3. Sometimes the most innocent are the hardest hit
4. Through tragedies come great triumphs
5. Regardless of the circumstances, God is always there.

The experiences of these two boys unfortunately are not too uncommon. Some events are notorious while others are not deemed news worthy. As believers, we are summoned to be fishers of men who were called to make a difference. Whether we teach the first boy’s villagers how to pray, or we take a few minutes to pray for the ministry of the second, action isn’t optional. We are all in this together, hand in hand, as He called us to be; to bring the good news that builds faith, instills hope and fosters the belief that He is with us and will never forsake us. “Knelt down by the Oceanside, contemplating death and life; Connected to the man by my side; knew little of the thoughts in my mind, reached in and touched the waves. The baton was handed to me. And no one’s ahead of me, yet I’m not alone in this race…(Human Race)

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June 15, 2014

Tart Tutor

By valencia68

“A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials” – Lucius Annaeus Seneca.  Teaching is love and one of the greatest gifts one can give.  Some may say opportunities to learn exist everywhere we go.  How much we learn depends on how open we are.  God sends us teachers to take us as far as they can, then to release us as we soar to the next level.  The measures of our lives are not how high we fly or how much we gain, rather how long we are willing to low-hover or how far we are willing to bend to give away His great riches.

On Saturday morning, I practiced yoga as I frequently do.  In the early morning when I awakened, I read scriptures before I got out of bed.  I had my tea and moseyed through the morning at a very gentle pace to conserve energy as I was slated to attend a half day celebratory event at local synagogue mid-morning.

I arrived at yoga radiating peace and serenity.  We had a substitute instructor who had an extremely low energy.  Her energy was so low, it was almost depressive.  15 minutes into the practice, I found it increasingly difficult to transition from one pose to another.  By the halfway mark, my practice had completely degraded.  The only reason I did not leave class was because to do so would have caused great interruption to the rest of the students in the class.  So, I spent at least half of the class in corpse pose, feeling listless while searching for even the smallest glimpse of life’s joy.  It was as though I was in a funeral procession.  The only thing that was missing was the mortician and the hearse.  Little did I know that the experience was a preparatory event for what was to happen later in the week.  This low vibe the teacher emanated was her interpretation of calm.  The spirit was uniquely saying “Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10 – NIV) because the Lord knew that my upcoming loss would create a familiar feeling in an unconventional way.

After getting cleaned up and changed, I went to the confirmation ceremony of a girl who reached the point in her life where she willing takes responsibility for her own actions regarding Jewish ethics, law, and tradition.  The lessons imparted during the celebration were seek the truth for yourself, people are deserving of second chances, and reconcile and move on once an event has passed; a prophesy for what was to happen later in the week.  The lesson was taken from Numbers 12:8-16 which says, “How dare you speak against my servant Moses?”  9 The Lord was angry with them; and so as he departed 10 and the cloud left the Tent, Miriam’s skin was suddenly covered with a dreaded disease and turned as white as snow.  When Aaron looked at her and saw that she was covered with the disease, 11 he said to Moses, ‘Please, sir, do not make us suffer this punishment for our foolish sin.  12 Don’t let her become like something born dead with half its flesh eaten away.’  13 So Moses cried out to the Lord, ‘O God, heal her!’  14 The Lord answered, ‘If her father had spit in her face, she would have to bear her disgrace for seven days.  So let her be shut out of the camp for a week, and after that she can be brought back in.’15 Miriam was shut out of the camp for seven days, and the people did not move on until she was brought back in.  16 Then they left Hazeroth and set up camp in the wilderness of Paran.”

Later in the week, a friend emailed me to say there had been a major change in perspective on life that required us to untie the knot of our friendship.  At first, I experienced heart-break and questioned the “true” motivation for the change.  I then grieved at the loss as it felt like a loved one had passed away.  After prayer and a good night’s sleep, I realized that although I was sad about the dissipation of the growing closeness, I found the truth of openness in the relationship.  I gained far more from the bond than I lost by its disconnection.  I will miss my friend but believe that a more abundant life will come from the death of the relationship as we knew it than if I tried to cling to it.  The undertaker removed what was as the birthing center cradles what is.

The next day, I witnessed someone in a pivotal position engage in questionable activity.  I spent the next 24 hours contemplating my next move.  I felt conflicted because James 5 tells me, “19-20 My dear friends, if you know people who have wandered off from God’s truth, don’t write them off. Go after them. Get them back and you will have rescued precious lives from destruction and prevented an epidemic of wandering away from God.”  However, my training and trade urged me to expose the behavior and allow an independent party to examine the facts and find the truth.  I chose the latter option to deal with the issue.

But the tentacles of this wrongdoing reach far beyond the doer.  It is not possible to isolate the illumination of the darkness of one person when the individual is surrounded by a crowd.  To the doer of wrong deeds, the requisite shepherds and their villagers, the exposure will feel like character assassination and will have the threat of provision elimination because the land owner lacks Godly insights.  Unfortunately in this instance, the shepherds and overseers did not provide instruction, guidance, and correction to their sheep along the way.  Their sights were set on other things and a member of their flock floundered in the meadow and stumbled onto dangerous terrain.  Now the sheep is hanging in the balance with an uncertain fate.  My prayer is that the threat of death inspires a rebirth of energy that promotes great growth within the entire village.  May the independent party find the truth that I was unwilling to look for.

The dichotomy of the coming of age and the going home to rest events as well as the death and rebirth has me meditating on these scriptures:

  1. Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding (Proverbs 3:5)
  2. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God (Philippians 4:6)
  1. We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all (Isaiah 53:6)
  2. Make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace (Ephesians 4:3)

My meditation has revealed that:  Life is full of pleasant surprises and utter craziness; God’s son is our second chance; His message to believers comes in many translations; the greatest growth comes from experiences in the darkest times.  His lessons come from lots of teachers – Be open to all of them and believe.

Newsboys provided my current chant in We Believe with “Let the lost be found and the dead be raised!  In the here and now, let love invade!  Let the church live love – our God will see we believe, We believe!  And the gates of hell will not prevail!  For the power of God has torn the veil!  Now we know Your love will never fail!  We believe, we believe!” 

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