Hard Fall, Soft Landing

“Today I choose life. Every morning when I wake up I can choose joy, happiness, negativity, pain… To feel the freedom that comes from being able to continue to make mistakes and choices – today I choose to feel life, not to deny my humanity but embrace it.” – Kevyn Aucoin

Each day when I awaken, I spend a few moments with Him. The recording I then hear is Zig Zigler saying, “Yesterday ended last night.  Today is a brand new day and it is yours.”  The scripture that follows is Joshua 1:1, “…Moses my servant is dead. Get going.  Cross this Jordan River, you and all the people.  Cross to the country I’m giving to the People of Israel.  I’m giving you every square inch of the land you set your foot on—just as I promised…”

My challenges of the past two weeks were all about containment, mostly of the sense of urgency that seemingly only I felt. I described it to my inner circle as a feeling of being on methamphetamines in an assisted living facility.  It was like I was playing a lower level in a video driving game, one that I had seen and surpassed many times before.  Nothing and no one seemed to move fast enough.  Everyone else seemed to be in slow motion and unable to anticipate what the next move should be when the path to future was already paved and clearly laid out in front of them.  With every passing moment, my blood simmered up to a low rolling boil as I contained the rage.  On the inside I was screaming, “What is this?  What altered reality have I fallen into?  Is this the Matrix?  Guys,…Stop making checkers moves in a chess game!  You can’t use a pawn to crown a rook and make him a king.  Get focused, do the right thing, and let’s go!”

After six days of feeling trapped in stalled traffic on the highway to nowhere, I screamed at God and said, “Dude! I can’t execute mission because I am stuck in the land of the lethargic and languorous.  Can you hit the ignition switch so we can get moving again?”  All energy then evaporated. Sight and motion ceased to exist.  In a direct way and with an unwavering tone, He said, “Be still and know that I am God! This matrix you speak of is called the world.  You are adrift in the labyrinth of purgatory between two spaces.  You walk in the world but you live through Me.  They may be lost but now you are misplaced and misguided.  Get back to our space so you can begin fishing with and for my people.  This inner voice is My spirit. He bears gifts of peace and justice so that you can speak the good news of the one true King – Me.  Get off your high horse and stop behaving like a wild bull.  My children are delicate and I have called you to be gentle with them.  This flummoxed state of mystified bewilderment only happens when you release my hand.  When you let go of love, you lose patience; the thing that I always have for you and an important trait you must have to make a difference with my children.  Since none of this is about you, it cannot possibly be done your way or without Me.  Wallowing in My word will cool your jets.  Then, and only then, will we be able to execute a smooth, soft landing to ground you again.”

The thunder of His voice in this instance was sheer shock and awe.  I then heard this song playing in my head:  Life can be only what you make it.  When you’re feelin down you should never fake it.  Say what’s on your mind and you’ll find in time that all the negative energy, it would all cease.  And you’ll be at peace with yourself.  You won’t really need no one else.  Except for the man up above because He’ll give you love.  Cause He’ll give you peace of mind and you’ll see the sunshine; and you’ll get to free your mind and things will turn out fine.  All you gotta do is take your time; One day at a time…It’s all on you.  What you gonna do?  My Life – Mary J. Blige

Then Ephesians 1:17-19 came to mind. It says, 17 God of our Lord Jesus the Anointed, Father of Glory: I call out to You on behalf of Your people.  Give them minds ready to receive wisdom and revelation so they will truly know You. 18 Open the eyes of their hearts, and let the light of Your truth flood in.  Shine Your light on the hope You are calling them to embrace.  Reveal to them the glorious riches You are preparing as their inheritance. 19 Let them see the full extent of Your power that is at work in those of us who believe, and may it be done according to Your might and power.(The Voice)  God then said, “That’s great.  Now say that same scripture to yourself for yourself.  This game is about loving my people!  If they want to play checkers, let them.  Not everyone is a chess player.  One day you will thank me for uniqueness.  Right now your job is to meet them where they are and introduce them to Me.  Not all of them are going to come to the foot of the cross.  But that is not a reason for you to get discouraged or lose your composure.  Love them all and connect with the willing.  Yes, the time is near but there is freedom in My son.  Now come on!  The exit point from this convoluted medium is at the intersection Affection Avenue and Love Lane.  We are in an apex and need to continue on this way.  Hold My hand so we do not get separated again.  I love you and you are going to be alright.”

Realizing that I have not had my best moments in recent weeks, I saw an opportunity to change course. And so I did.  I began immediately by walking and driving much slower.  Reducing my speed allowed me to see the subtleties, nuances, and contours on the path that leads to the cross.  His words made me learn again that not everyone sees life the same way, are driven by the same things, or react to the same stimuli.

Over the next few days, I noticed that by seeing the delicacies of the shades and not just the bluntness of the primary colors, I have been able to walk beside a few people. Because I was not travelling ninety to nothing, I appeared open and approachable and they were willing to ask me where they could find Him.  Two souls are now oriented in His direction; a place they may not have been if I had blown past them.

The experience was a terse reminder that:

  1. I serve at the pleasure of the One True King.
  2. My power is influencing others; my gifting is inspiring them; my pain is fear and my weakness is speed.
  3. I need results to open up to connection. Others need connection to produce results.
  4. When we go for broke, sometimes we break things.
  5. There is no perfection in life; but in everything we do, we pursue excellence through Him.
  6. He is always there to help us make a mid-course correction. All we have to do is ask Him.
  7. No matter how bad we blow it, we always have a home. He continuously makes us new.

You’re making me new, making me new, everything new. I’ve been changed by you like only love can do.  You’re making me new.  No warning signs, no sirens or flashing lights.  And just like a thief at night, you so unexpectedly showed up and rescued me.  I got a feeling that I can’t explain, like I’m crawling out of my skin.  I was dead till the moment that you said my name.  Now my heart is beating again.  You gave it all for me, came and set me free.  Now your love has overcome.  Royal Tailor – Making Me New

Live life big! You will fall and sometimes really hard.  Don’t hold back because of it.  Keep your spirit of courage and use the gifts He has given you.  Stay in Him and with Him.  When you lose your way, seek Him.  His arms are always wide open.  Jesus Loves You!  “I’m absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us”  Romans 8:39 (MSG)

About valencia68

With gratitude, I openly play and learn in the diverse waters of creativity and connection. View all posts by valencia68

2 responses to “Hard Fall, Soft Landing

  • jlawrence408

    I have returned from the mission trip to Mexico praising God for His faithfulness. I learned much as God showed me how different is not wrong, rather all things work together and are used for His good.

    After reaching Oaxaca by plane we drove up a very curvy road for six hours admiring the beauty of waterfalls and greenery. We climbed higher and higher to a destination unseen by anyone on our team. It reminded me of Hawaii before tourism had increased.

    We arrived sluggish after the long trek accompanied by the side effects of Dramamine but ready to serve. We were greeted by a pastor and a few members of their church who had prayed for years that God would send up a medical team. My job was to do in-take, signing in all patients, assigning them to the appropriate health care specialist, taking their blood pressure and or blood sugar if so deemed. Our team consisted of a dentist, two physicians from Oaxaca and a doctor of physical therapy.

    Mid-day a small seven year old girl was brought up to our table to check in. A woman was requesting that she see a physician. I assumed that her tiny face had been badly burned, perhaps by boiling water was my initial unlicensed diagnosis. Later I learned that the little girl was from the local orphanage and had head lice so badly that she scratched off her own face. Unfortunately, all the children suffered from the pesky unwanted lice. Our mission pastor and local pastor made some phone calls when learning of this suffering. A company was willing to donate all new mattresses and another new blankets after the detox of the facility and hair.

    I confess that I had found fault with the group I traveled with and have had to repent. My three week mission trip to India had been focused on the salvation message and I had been ever so delighted to share the God given gift of evangelism again this time. As I pulled out my wordless bag in anticipation of sharing the good news in Mexico I was appalled when told by leadership to put it away. I questioned this later and was informed that we were there as a support to the local church and that they should be the ones sharing the gospel. I argued that God’s word tells us to go forth throughout all nations proclaiming the gospel. It didn’t say anything about going out to build relationships. My mind was shouting that it was a missed opportunity. The sick had walked hours through the rain to be seen and sat patiently for hours to be seen by a health care professional. Surely, their eternal life was just as important as their illness on this earth.

    It took me a week of reflection and prayer for it to sink into my heart. It wasn’t about me. God had a different plan and was using it to bring the lost into the saving knowledge of Him. It was not for my glory but His that this mission trip took place. I didn’t know the condition of their hearts but God does. We were there to simply serve. They did witnessed His love first hand as we poured out His love on this indigenous people group. Buzzing quieting around me were members of the local church serving hot coffee and offering a piece of fruit to those cold and hungry. They swept, cleaned bathrooms, served us, and they would still be there long after we left. They were the missionaries’ living on the front lines day in and day out. We were only an extensive of their ministry.

    How easy it is to become puffed up even with our own God given gifts. May I remember this lesson of humility forever. His work will continue, He simply allowed me a back seat view.

    The scars from the mosquito bites remain but it was worth every itch. May God deeply scratch the memory of this trip on my heart that it will be a lesson never to be forgotten.

    Loved your post. It reminded me that our ways are not His ways.

    Blessings,
    Janet

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