Tag Archives: patience

November 1, 2014

Hard Fall, Soft Landing

By valencia68

“Today I choose life. Every morning when I wake up I can choose joy, happiness, negativity, pain… To feel the freedom that comes from being able to continue to make mistakes and choices – today I choose to feel life, not to deny my humanity but embrace it.” – Kevyn Aucoin

Each day when I awaken, I spend a few moments with Him. The recording I then hear is Zig Zigler saying, “Yesterday ended last night.  Today is a brand new day and it is yours.”  The scripture that follows is Joshua 1:1, “…Moses my servant is dead. Get going.  Cross this Jordan River, you and all the people.  Cross to the country I’m giving to the People of Israel.  I’m giving you every square inch of the land you set your foot on—just as I promised…”

My challenges of the past two weeks were all about containment, mostly of the sense of urgency that seemingly only I felt. I described it to my inner circle as a feeling of being on methamphetamines in an assisted living facility.  It was like I was playing a lower level in a video driving game, one that I had seen and surpassed many times before.  Nothing and no one seemed to move fast enough.  Everyone else seemed to be in slow motion and unable to anticipate what the next move should be when the path to future was already paved and clearly laid out in front of them.  With every passing moment, my blood simmered up to a low rolling boil as I contained the rage.  On the inside I was screaming, “What is this?  What altered reality have I fallen into?  Is this the Matrix?  Guys,…Stop making checkers moves in a chess game!  You can’t use a pawn to crown a rook and make him a king.  Get focused, do the right thing, and let’s go!”

After six days of feeling trapped in stalled traffic on the highway to nowhere, I screamed at God and said, “Dude! I can’t execute mission because I am stuck in the land of the lethargic and languorous.  Can you hit the ignition switch so we can get moving again?”  All energy then evaporated. Sight and motion ceased to exist.  In a direct way and with an unwavering tone, He said, “Be still and know that I am God! This matrix you speak of is called the world.  You are adrift in the labyrinth of purgatory between two spaces.  You walk in the world but you live through Me.  They may be lost but now you are misplaced and misguided.  Get back to our space so you can begin fishing with and for my people.  This inner voice is My spirit. He bears gifts of peace and justice so that you can speak the good news of the one true King – Me.  Get off your high horse and stop behaving like a wild bull.  My children are delicate and I have called you to be gentle with them.  This flummoxed state of mystified bewilderment only happens when you release my hand.  When you let go of love, you lose patience; the thing that I always have for you and an important trait you must have to make a difference with my children.  Since none of this is about you, it cannot possibly be done your way or without Me.  Wallowing in My word will cool your jets.  Then, and only then, will we be able to execute a smooth, soft landing to ground you again.”

The thunder of His voice in this instance was sheer shock and awe.  I then heard this song playing in my head:  Life can be only what you make it.  When you’re feelin down you should never fake it.  Say what’s on your mind and you’ll find in time that all the negative energy, it would all cease.  And you’ll be at peace with yourself.  You won’t really need no one else.  Except for the man up above because He’ll give you love.  Cause He’ll give you peace of mind and you’ll see the sunshine; and you’ll get to free your mind and things will turn out fine.  All you gotta do is take your time; One day at a time…It’s all on you.  What you gonna do?  My Life – Mary J. Blige

Then Ephesians 1:17-19 came to mind. It says, 17 God of our Lord Jesus the Anointed, Father of Glory: I call out to You on behalf of Your people.  Give them minds ready to receive wisdom and revelation so they will truly know You. 18 Open the eyes of their hearts, and let the light of Your truth flood in.  Shine Your light on the hope You are calling them to embrace.  Reveal to them the glorious riches You are preparing as their inheritance. 19 Let them see the full extent of Your power that is at work in those of us who believe, and may it be done according to Your might and power.(The Voice)  God then said, “That’s great.  Now say that same scripture to yourself for yourself.  This game is about loving my people!  If they want to play checkers, let them.  Not everyone is a chess player.  One day you will thank me for uniqueness.  Right now your job is to meet them where they are and introduce them to Me.  Not all of them are going to come to the foot of the cross.  But that is not a reason for you to get discouraged or lose your composure.  Love them all and connect with the willing.  Yes, the time is near but there is freedom in My son.  Now come on!  The exit point from this convoluted medium is at the intersection Affection Avenue and Love Lane.  We are in an apex and need to continue on this way.  Hold My hand so we do not get separated again.  I love you and you are going to be alright.”

Realizing that I have not had my best moments in recent weeks, I saw an opportunity to change course. And so I did.  I began immediately by walking and driving much slower.  Reducing my speed allowed me to see the subtleties, nuances, and contours on the path that leads to the cross.  His words made me learn again that not everyone sees life the same way, are driven by the same things, or react to the same stimuli.

Over the next few days, I noticed that by seeing the delicacies of the shades and not just the bluntness of the primary colors, I have been able to walk beside a few people. Because I was not travelling ninety to nothing, I appeared open and approachable and they were willing to ask me where they could find Him.  Two souls are now oriented in His direction; a place they may not have been if I had blown past them.

The experience was a terse reminder that:

  1. I serve at the pleasure of the One True King.
  2. My power is influencing others; my gifting is inspiring them; my pain is fear and my weakness is speed.
  3. I need results to open up to connection. Others need connection to produce results.
  4. When we go for broke, sometimes we break things.
  5. There is no perfection in life; but in everything we do, we pursue excellence through Him.
  6. He is always there to help us make a mid-course correction. All we have to do is ask Him.
  7. No matter how bad we blow it, we always have a home. He continuously makes us new.

You’re making me new, making me new, everything new. I’ve been changed by you like only love can do.  You’re making me new.  No warning signs, no sirens or flashing lights.  And just like a thief at night, you so unexpectedly showed up and rescued me.  I got a feeling that I can’t explain, like I’m crawling out of my skin.  I was dead till the moment that you said my name.  Now my heart is beating again.  You gave it all for me, came and set me free.  Now your love has overcome.  Royal Tailor – Making Me New

Live life big! You will fall and sometimes really hard.  Don’t hold back because of it.  Keep your spirit of courage and use the gifts He has given you.  Stay in Him and with Him.  When you lose your way, seek Him.  His arms are always wide open.  Jesus Loves You!  “I’m absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us”  Romans 8:39 (MSG)

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May 18, 2014

From Breslau, with love

By valencia68

“On the question of relating to our fellowman – our neighbor’s spiritual need transcends every commandment.  Everything else we do is a means to an end.  But love is an end already, since God is love” – Edith Stein.

God created us to live in community with one another.  We are all souls created in His image.  He uses others to guide us and light the path beneath our feet – a path that leads back to the foot of the cross, a place of love.  In Home, Daughtry sums it up well with, “The miles are getting longer, it seems, the closer I get to you.  I’ve not always been the best man or friend for you.  But your love it makes true and I don’t know why.  You always seem to give me another try.  So I’m going home, back to the place where I belong and where your love has always been enough for me.  I’m not running from, no, I think you got me all wrong; I don’t regret this life I chose for me.  But these places and these faces are getting old.  So I’m going home.” 

Last week I had the chance to speak with a mentor and friend from 35 years ago.  She is a woman of great wisdom, patience and insight who has a keen understanding of long-term investment.  In my formative years, she spent a lot of time imparting lessons on me that she knew very well I didn’t understand.  Nonetheless, she passed the information on with the determination to prepare me for my future, holding out hope that understanding would come.  Although my talents and gifting seemed light years away from coming together, she knew that time would pass quickly and seemingly in the blink of an eye, God would put those pieces together with dime-size precision.  When I look in the rear view mirror at that part of my journey, I see an assertive but confused little person, caught up in the fog of war, who lacked the ability to discern the Commander’s intent.  Having figuratively and literally been through war, she saw an enterprising pre-teen who would go on to do great things.

Our conversation was both intimate and inspiring.  As she did years ago, she repeated last week.  She filled my basket with more than I could consume in the moment, knowing that I would use it to feed the future.  Specifically, she reminding me that:

  1. Hope is a necessary virtue.
  2. Nothing here is ours.
  3. The Lord gives quiet assistance.
  4. My only cut card is love.
  5. We need time with Him to sustain working for Him.
  6. Do not concern yourself with what you may lose when there is so much to gain.

By the end of our conversation, I realized we were no longer the old lady and the girl, but rather two friends from different generations sharing similar experiences.  Her patience with me as a child taught me that there is something deeper than disagreement.  Her insights and experiences shared with me as an adult made me know there is something beautiful in connection.  Proverbs 3:13-18 tells us, “You’re blessed when you meet Lady Wisdom, when you make friends with Madame Insight.  She’s worth far more than money in the bank; her friendship is better than a big salary.  Her value exceeds all the trappings of wealth; nothing you could wish for holds a candle to her.  With one hand she gives long life, with the other she confers recognition.  Her manner is beautiful, her life wonderfully complete.  She’s the very Tree of Life to those who embrace her.  Hold her tight—and be blessed!” (MSG)

My reflection on the conversation drove home the notion that life’s journey is not a series of unplanned disjointed twists and turns, trips and blunders, setbacks and disappointments, triumphs and victories, and achievements and successes.  Instead, it is a highly planned, coherently organized movement of people, places, and things, designed to bring us back to Him.  God uses the bumps to slow us down and redirect us and the open-country road to build us up and encourage us.  Ellie Holcomb in The Broken Beautiful says it so well:  “I’m better off when I begin to remember how You have met me in my deepest pain.  So give me glimpses now of how You have covered all of my heart ache, oh with all Your grace.  Remind me now that You can make a way.  That Your love will never change, that there’s healing in your name; that You can take broken things, and make them beautiful.  You took my shame and You walked out of the grave.  So Your love can take broken things and make them beautiful.  You say that You’ll turn my weeping into dancing; remove my sadness & cover me with joy.  You say your scars are the evidence of healing; that You can make the broken beautiful.”

Life is not a linear, even-paced walk.  We will stumble into the valley as much as we walk on the mountaintop.  When the going gets rough and forward progress seems like an impossibility, God doesn’t just tell us to find a way.  He makes one for us.  He places teachers, mentors, and sponsors on our path; people who light the way, hold our hands, sing praises of encouragement, and show us that “it” can be done.  He places them there to soothe our misplaced aggression, bandage our bruises, lighten our spirits, and give us wings to fly.

Like my teacher and friend (and her mentor), we are all built to be blessings to one another.  So get going!  Soar high and generously sprinkle His love on everyone you encounter.  Be a Godly teacher, mentor, or sponsor and friend in your next human engagement.  Share your story of God’s love and grace with those you meet.  Do so and your actions will teach people this:  “I am Lady Wisdom, and I live next to Sanity; Knowledge and Discretion live just down the street.  The Fear-of-God means hating Evil, whose ways I hate with a passion — pride and arrogance and crooked talk.  Good counsel and common sense are my characteristics; I am both Insight and the Virtue to live it out.  With my help, leaders rule, and lawmakers legislate fairly; With my help, governors govern, along with all in legitimate authority.  I love those who love me; those who look for me find me.  Wealth and Glory accompany me — also substantial Honor and a Good Name.  My benefits are worth more than a big salary, even a very big salary; the returns on me exceed any imaginable bonus.  You can find me on Righteous Road — that’s where I walk — at the intersection of Justice Avenue, Handing out life to those who love me, filling their arms with life—armloads of life!” (Proverbs 8:12-21 – MSG).  Thank you, my friend!

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April 7, 2014

Curbside Justice

By valencia68

Yesterday, after returning from a women’s retreat that included a three-hour drive through the Allegany Mountains, I stopped by the store to pick up a few items. As I approached the entrance, I saw a familiar face strolling along the curbside headed towards the same entry door. It was one of the store cashiers who was returning from a break. She was talking on her cell phone to someone about issues related to a job corps. I entered the store and went on my way to get my groceries.

When I completed my shopping, I noticed that same cashier had opened a lane and was wiping down the counters while waiting for a customer to arrive. Although no one was waiting in her line, I passed her register so I wouldn’t have to face the social ills that make me uncomfortable. You see, a few weeks earlier, I was at her register and noticed she had bruises on her neck and chest and her arm was in a bandage. When I asked her what happened, she said she was clumsy and had fallen down the stairs. The shapes and location of her bruising made her story implausible. What challenged the strength of my heart strings even more is that she had severe dental issues and appeared to be six months pregnant or two days postpartum. My lack of desire for seeing her bilious condition is what caused me to pass her register. Then the parable of the Good Samaritan came to mind. Luke 10:30-35 says, “30 This fellow was traveling down from Jerusalem to Jericho when some robbers mugged him. They took his clothes, beat him to a pulp, and left him naked and bleeding and in critical condition. 31 By chance, a priest was going down that same road, and when he saw the wounded man, he crossed over to the other side and passed by. 32 Then a Levite who was on his way to assist in the temple also came and saw the victim lying there, and he too kept his distance. 33 Then a despised Samaritan journeyed by. When he saw the fellow, he felt compassion for him. 34 The Samaritan went over to him, stopped the bleeding, applied some first aid, and put the poor fellow on his donkey. He brought the man to an inn and cared for him through the night. 35 The next day, the Samaritan took out some money—two days’ wages to be exact—and paid the innkeeper, saying, “Please take care of this fellow, and if this isn’t enough, I’ll repay you next time I pass through.” (The Voice)

Feeling convicted, I prayed Give Me Your Eyes by Brandon Heath as a prayer. It says, “Give me Your eyes for just one second. Give me Your eyes so I can see everything that I keep missing. Give me Your love for humanity. Give me Your arms for the broken-hearted; the ones that are far beyond my reach. Give me Your heart for the ones forgotten. Give me Your eyes so I can see.” My grandmother’s voice then spoke to me and said, “If you don’t get your rump back there…” My mind shrieked back, “But I have nothing to give!”

Still feeling anxious about what I would encounter and what God might call me to do, in an act of obedience, I turned my cart around and went to her lane (all the while praying that I would have a genuine and positive reaction to her.) I then asked God again to allow me to see her through His eyes.

She courteously greeted me. As I stood in front of her and she would not make eye contact with me, I quickly realized that injustice in her life was all too common. Her alcohol-atrophied skin, meth-ravaged teeth, and native Virginia dialect that made southern Ebonics sound like the king’s English, told a story of perpetual marginalization of a disenfranchised life.

James 2:18-20 tells us, 18 “I know what you’re thinking: ‘OK, you have faith. And I have actions. Now let’s see your faith without works, and I’ll show you a faith that works.’  Don’t you realize that faith without works is useless, like a glove without a hand or a hat without a head?  19 Do you think that just believing there’s one God is going to get you anywhere? The demons believe that, too, and it terrifies them!  20 The fact is, faith has to show itself through works performed in faith.  If you don’t recognize that, then you’re an empty soul.” (The Voice)

I first noticed that her stomach was flat. I wondered if she lost her baby or circumstances required her to return to work immediately after delivery. I didn’t ask, I just prayed. I also saw that her previously bandaged forearm had a Japanese script tattoo. When I asked her the significance of it, her gaze raised from foot level to knee level as she told me it was her name. I asked when she got it, where she is from, and if she gets to see her family often? With each question answered, her line of sight adjusted to my waist, then chest, then shoulders. When she finished ringing me up and handed me my receipt, I told her thank you. I pushed my cart a few feet as she began helping the next person in line. I paused, called her by name and said, “have a nice evening.” She smiled, looked over her shoulder into my eyes and with great sincerity said, “Thank you so much.” I then realized I did have something to give. I gave her basic human dignity and respect.

The encounter made me understand that justice is best administered through the fruits of the holy spirit and that injustice is caused by a deprivation of the fruits. The experience left me with this:

  1. This world is not just but we can bring moments of justice to it
  2. Regardless of one’s condition, love has a soothing essence
  3. Every moment is an opportunity to disburse kindness, goodness, and gentleness
  4. Curbsides and mountainsides are equal when it comes to sending and receiving joy, peace, and patience
  5. Faithfulness and self-control go a long way in building His Kingdom

Margaret Anderson says, “As I look at the human story I see two stories.  They run parallel and never meet.  One is of people who live, as they can or must, the events that arrive; the other is of people who live, as they intend, the events they create.” In the Kingdom of God, the two are designed to meet and on His demand, frequently do. Proverbs 30:12-13 reminds us just how close we are with, “12 Don’t imagine yourself to be quite presentable when you haven’t had a bath in weeks. 13 Don’t be stuck-up and think you’re better than everyone else.” (MSG)

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March 25, 2014

Shaken (Not Stirred)

By valencia68

Have you ever shown up, rearing to go – with an agenda in hand, prepared to predict others’ next moves and control the outcome of the experience you’ve just entered – only to encounter others who seem to be ill-prepared, slow on the uptake, or just flat-out lost? All too often, we start our days with a clean slate that we quickly fill up with our “to do” lists. We draw a small square and write the task next to it. Once the task is complete, we mark it off by placing an X inside the square. The object is to have as many boxes with Xs as possible at the end of the day. On those days, accomplishments mean the most. We don’t even consider the miniscule effort it would take to initiate an exchange with those running, seemingly stuck, in first gear. What does it take…a little patience.

What about the souls impacted by the pursuit of results that ignores their present day experience and lacks the attention, compassion, and kindness needed to embrace them into this moment? In that instance, what we don’t know may not hurt us but it could feel crushing to them. What we don’t know is what it took for them just to show up and be physically present in the situation that you and I are hurriedly moving and check-listing our way through. We think that slowing down and connecting causes us to lose time; when in fact, it more likely causes us to gain connection with the fragile souls around us. A sixty-second conversation, a slight touch of the hand, a smile, a soft-spoken “hello”… What does it take…a little kindness and attention.

Instead of listening and being a witness, we act… as the final arbiter. What we see, we label. What we hear, we snicker at. What we think we know, we judge. The reality is typically a deprivation of some sort resulting in a fog of confusion that consumes the rocky path that is this person’s journey right now. Our insensitivity can create storms of fear and shame of colossal proportion that causes greater withdrawal into the internal killing fields of doubt and regret located in their empty or broken hearts. Our harsh words sound like the echo of thunder. Our insensitive tone scorches like a bolt of lightning – feeling like the swell of misery or a flood of destruction. Some hide the pain behind good manners with a smile while others change colors and lose affect. Some resiliently snap back. Others, well…not so much. What does it take…a little sensitivity.

Job 16:3-5 tells us, “3 Your long speeches never end! Why do you continue arguing? 4 I also could say the same things you say, if you had my troubles. I could say wise things against you and shake my head at you. 5 But I would say things to encourage you and give you hope. (ERV)

MercyMe captures the thoughts of the resilient with faith, praying for escape, but who were blessed with the upbringing in His teachings in I can Only Imagine:

I can only imagine what it will be like when I walk by your side. I can only imagine what my eyes will see when your face is before me. I can only imagine… Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel? Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still? Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall? Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all? I can only imagine…

Oh how blessed we are when we encounter the resilient. They are the faces of God’s grace. Because of the single set of footprints in the sand, we are able to push the restart button; the one that allows us to say, “I’m sorry! Let me try this again”; one that allows the tape to replay carols of compassion instead of chords of criticism, the harmony of forgiveness instead of the sharpness of fear, or melodies of stillness instead of the staccato of shame. Psalm 37:24-26 tells us, “24 If they fall, it isn’t fatal, for the Lord holds them with his hand. 25 I have been young and now I am old. And in all my years I have never seen the Lord forsake a man who loves him; nor have I seen the children of the godly go hungry. 26 Instead, the godly are able to be generous with their gifts and loans to others, and their children are a blessing. (TLB) What does it take…a little compassion.

I dare not mention the frail. We have not walked a mile in their moccasins and therefore do not know their circuitous, tumultuous journey or their condition upon arrival. Third Day illustrates this point in I Need A Miracle when they sing: He lost his job and all he had in the fall of ’09. Now he feared the worst, that he would lose his children and his wife. So he drove down deep into the woods and thought he’d end it all and prayed, “Lord above, I need a miracle”. Through love, we can be that miracle. Our requirement is to refrain from placing His children in boxes and to put away the Xs. They are His essence, not inane objects bristled between tasks. We all have hearts that pump blood and chambers that long for trust-filled loving connections. A little warmth, kind words, and a smile may serve to obscure the shelves that house permanent solutions when temporary problems are all that are on the table. Hebrews 12:14-15 calls us to: “14 Pursue the goal of peace along with everyone… 15 Make sure that no one misses out on God’s grace…” (CEB) What does it take…a little love.

This recent revelation has led me to understand that we are called to:

  1. Serve as guiding lights to one another; not to serve as driving rains that obscure the vision of others and make their paths slick
  2. Serve with patience, kindness, compassion and sensitivity
  3. Pave the road according to His will, not our agenda
  4. Recognize that we each have different talents and separate challenges And
  5. Remember to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace

Storms will blow in with gale force winds that lift the covers of certainty off our circumstances. The driving rains will spin our schedules into a whirlpool that drains our best laid plans. Hurricanes will blow ashore and knock out our power for long periods. Torrential downpours will cause landslides that we may never fully recover from. With capacity, faith, and other followers, weathering the storms is merely a foot race. Without the capacity to have faith, followers must be the candlelight for others from the edges to the eye.

Whether this seems sobering or intoxicating, a cocktail of one part forgiveness, one part faith, and two parts love, shaken (not stirred) over cubes of His grace, creates a smooth thirst-quencher that is easy for any consumer to swallow. Psalm 107:28-30 says 28 Then they cry to the Lord in their trouble, and he saves them. 29 He calms the storm and stills the waves. 30 What a blessing is that stillness as he brings them safely into harbor! (TLB)

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