Tag Archives: Pain

June 1, 2014

The Bold and Beautiful

By valencia68

If the path be beautiful, let us not ask where it leads. – Anatole France

Over the holiday weekend, I attended a woman’s conference.  Something I learned is that the original Webster’s dictionary defined beautiful as the quality present when one’s purpose is understood.  For the past six weeks I have been on a quest to better understand how to unpack the following purpose-focused principle: “A person’s greatest place of pain is their greatest place of power and their area of weakness is their area of gifting.”  The biblical information in several of the sessions helped to shed carnival-style floodlight illumination into the dark spaces that contain my treasures along the path to discovering my purpose.  Because of this journey, I am beginning to wear the label beautiful.

My biggest takeaways from the conference were that amazing, powerful, and moving things happen when 1400 women gather in His name; be bold; and be the love for those around you.  Experiencing the exchanges of love between this large group of strangers brought me here:

Love has no natural enemy; we allow fear of rejection to become Love’s kryptonite. Love withheld is self-hate.  Love shared is multiplied. Love repressed is deceitful.  Love expressed is pure joy. Love’s touch is a hug.  Love’s tenderness is a kiss. Love rejected is depression.  Love explored is an adventure.  Love structured is a cell block.  Love is free and so it flows. Love with obedience is bold.  Love without action is defeat.  Love laden with doubt is fear.  Love like Christ is pure trust and acceptance. “For the first time in my life I saw the truth as it is set into song by so many poets, proclaimed as the final wisdom by so many thinkers.  The truth – that Love is the ultimate and highest goal to which man can aspire.  Then I grasped the meaning of the greatest secret that human poetry and human thought and belief have to impart: The salvation of man is through love and in love.” – Viktor E. Frankl

The experience of the conference was as challenging as it was stimulating and liberating.  After musing on the messages, combing through the cascades of thoughts, and sorting through the signs and signals provided by my guides and teachers, I came to the realization that: the wonders of my future are connected to the experiences of my past; bridging the chasms between the two requires a reset of my defaults for habits and reactions that no longer serve me well; fear is the only thing that can prevent me from getting there; being beautiful is only one step of boldness away; and love is the center of it all.  Said another way, the treasures of my purpose will be revealed if I use prayerfulness, gratitude and love to release fear of the future and shame from the past.

People have struggled with this forever.  The Israelites are prime examples.  We all know they spent many years in the desert on a journey from bondage in Egypt to the Promised Land.  But fear turned a two year journey into a forty year trip.  Instead of parents with newborns (who escaped slavery in Egypt) arriving in Canaan with their toddlers, they arrived with their great-grand children.  Fear (False Evidence Appearing Real) caused them first to wonder about the truth God revealed and then to wander away from the riches He had in store for them.

In Numbers 13 (VOICE), the scripture tells us: “There is dissension in the camp.  Some of the leaders have been sharing their doubts with the people, and folks are nervous.  The thrill of this wilderness camping experience has worn off, and some are thinking that working for the Egyptians wasn’t so bad.  So barely two years out of Egypt, the Israelites are standing at the door of their promised land.  Moses needs to motivate the people, and he selects 12 key men from each of the tribes to explore the land of abundance God has provided.  The nation stands to enter into a time of great reward, but first their leaders must bring back a report that will inspire their confidence.”  Specifically: “1 The Lord said to Moses ‘Choose one of the leaders from each of the twelve tribes and send them as spies to explore the land of Canaan, which I am giving to the Israelites.’” Later it says: “27 We checked out the land, just as you’d instructed us to do, and here’s what we discovered: It is rich, very rich. One could say that it flows with milk and honey; and look, here is some of its fruit.  The land is highly desirable, 28but the people who already live there are really strong.  Their cities are enormous and fortified.  What’s more, we saw the Anakites there.  29 In the Negev, there are Amalekites; and in the high hill country are Hittites, Jebusites, and Amorites.  As for the seacoast, Canaanites live there and along the Jordan River too. 30 But Caleb calmed the congregation, and he spoke to Moses.  Caleb: We should go straight in, right away, and take it over.  We are surely able!  Other Scouts: 31No way.  We can’t do it.  The people who are already there are too strong for us.  32So the report of these other scouts was quite disheartening; it made the people question God’s promise.”

Fear created doubt which made the Israelites weak.  It caused them to endure the pain associated with remaining in the desert.  Consequently, their treasures, the Promised Land, were not available to them for another 38 years.  They eventually saw the truth on the banks of the Jordan River three generations later; the same truth that gave Caleb courage decades earlier back in Number 13.  Fast forward a few decades and Joshua 1:1-3 says, “1 After the death of the Lord’s servant Moses, the Lord spoke to Moses’ helper, Joshua son of Nun.2 He said, My servant Moses is dead. Get ready now, you and all the people of Israel, and cross the Jordan River into the land that I am giving them.  3 As I told Moses, I have given you and all my people the entire land that you will be marching over.” (GNT)  Only then did the Israelites wade through the darkness of the desert to arrive into the light of the Promised Land.

The story made me question this: What treasures have eluded me because of doubt or fear?  What areas of my life am I holding back because of insecurity?  How many years have I been held captive by the anxiety of past pain?  How many times am I going to pass up God’s promises because of worry or apprehension – when He has led me to the doorstep of greater things, if only I wrap my heart and mind around the confidence and assurances that come with being a child swaddled in the cradle of His love?

My thoughts on the matter have reminded me of these truths:

  1. The power of prayer will help us to heal the pains of our past.
  2. A spirit of fear is our greatest weakness.
  3. Embrace our struggles because they built our strength.
  4. Boldness is an act of obedience which leads to being beautiful.
  5. Love is our greatest gift.

In Beautiful Things, Gungor tells us: “All this pain, I wonder if I’ll ever find my way?  I wonder if my life could really change at all?  All this earth; could all that is lost ever be found?  Could a garden come up from this ground at all?  All around hope is springing up from this old ground.  Out of chaos life is being found in You.  You make beautiful things…”

Hey beautiful!  Go, be bold.  Step out there.  Pursue your purpose.  Lose the shackles of doubt and fear.  Be free.  His promises are at your feet.  Leave your pain and weaknesses in the desert.  They were your experiences but they do not define you.  Use your power and strength to take what has been set aside for you.  Your gifts await you.  But you must show courage to get them the first time around.  His love will get you there if you simply see it for the truth that it is.

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May 6, 2014

Rolling in the Deep, part II

By valencia68

As I look out over the ocean and watch the waves crash ashore, I wonder what makes them do that.  Although I could learn more from a book or online, I already know that the energy that drives them is deep-rooted and their power is strongly tied to their reason for existence.  This cascade of thoughts brought me back to the principle that “a person’s greatest place of pain is their greatest place of power and their area of weakness is their area of gifting.”

After weeks of musing this notion, I have learned that deep-thinking, perception, introspection, reflection, and intuition are the stronger parts of my power center.  A calm demeanor and a warm, welcoming smile are spokes in my gifting wheel.  Speed and seeking results to the exclusion of relationships are certainly some of my weaknesses.  And pain, well we will get to that.

Although I believe there is much more searching to do in dark places to discover my treasures, the few I have found are helping me to uncover my purpose.  Based on what I know today, I believe a large part of my purpose is about loving His people.  As Force Family 5 tells us in Let it be Love, “I’ve never seen a soul set free through an argument.  I’ve never seen a hurt get healed in a protest.  But I’ve seen sinners turned to saints because of grace.  It’s love, love that lights the way – Love that lights the way.  Let it be our arms wide open, bigger than the words we’ve spoken.  Let it be our heart for the broken, If we’re gonna light, light, light the way to You.  Let it be love…Nothing but love…It’s love that lights the way.  It’s not about the stand we take, but the grace we give.  It’s not about the name we make, but the life we live.  Heard about a King who stepped down, took my place; True Love gave His life away.  It’s love that lights the way.”  

How are those talents unique?  How can they be used to achieve my purpose?  The answer begins with prayer and an intentional shift to a relationship orientation.   Galatians 5:13-14 tells us, “13 Brothers and sisters, God has called you to freedom!  Hear the call, and do not spoil this gift by using your liberty to engage in what your flesh desires; instead, use it to serve each other as Jesus taught through love.  14 For the whole law comes down to this one instruction: “Love your neighbor as yourself,”” (The Voice)

Now….let’s examine this a little closer.  We’ve all heard it, “we were not built to be an island.”  Humans have an intrinsic desire for connection.  However, typically those that are closest to us hurt us the most.  How can we gain power from pain inflicted by those who claim to love and care for us?  Well, here is an example of how it may work:  an older relative teases us relentlessly about being overweight as a child (that’s a point of pain).  In our youth, we learn how to control our conditions and circumstances in extreme ways, i.e. over-eating, anorexia, bulimia, etc.  Thankfully through maturity, that control turns into positive influence – relating to, gently guiding, and teaching those around us to more constructive outlets (that’s power).

What about the connection of weakness to gifting?  For instance, speed like most other things, has a light and shadow side.  When it is used to blow past people for the purpose of preventing or controlling connections to other humans, it is a weakness.  For a while, this weakness seems to work in our favor because we move about unimpeded while capturing meaningless results.  Then illness or some other misfortune stops us dead in our tracks and we have to heavily rely on another.  In our stillness, we look into the eyes of our helper and connect with her.  She teaches us, through patience and grace, that we are all reliant upon each other in some way for something.  In the quiet of a night during our convalescence, we wrestle with the lessons given to us.  We roll a little deeper and begin to peel back the layers of emotions covered that caused us to speed through life so fast that the seal of feelings between us and those around us could not ever tighten.  What we learn in those dark moments is that we have a trough full of love, disguised as wisdom and ideas, that is eagerly and anxiously waiting to be shared.  Until that precious point in time, we simply were never willing to risk being vulnerable enough to examine the real truth.  Instead, we had relied upon the deception of fear (False Evidence Appearing Real), something that prevented us from giving away the gifts provided to us for the benefit of others.  Our biggest take away is that exposure doesn’t kill us, but instead makes of stronger.  Ecclesiastes 7:18-20 tells us, “18 Avoid both extremes.  If you have reverence for God, you will be successful anyway.  19 Wisdom does more for a person than ten rulers can do for a city.  20There is no one on earth who does what is right all the time and never makes a mistake.”  (GNT)

Let’s look at another example:  Someone close to us always uses a quixotic approach to life’s issues.  At every turn, there is a great hype at the presentation of another dream pursued.  Each pursuit causes continuous and major setbacks.  The ripple effect of the nostalgic impracticality causes the innocent to ride mediocre waves that violently crash ashore.  If this is our plight, anytime we feel the slightest bit of instability, we use the art of disengagement to prevent others from hurting us.  Unfortunately, life is full of rocky roads and unstable ground.  When we push back at the slightest hint of a tremor, we learn not to see relationships through (that’s weakness).  We never learn that tenacity or perseverance while loving others are tenets that are helpful to our lives.  As we move through life, we realize that others’ idealisms are medicated approaches to situations that lack meaningful connections and/or true sense of community.  The decisions made to eradicate loneliness turned out to be more like a seaward bound rip current – a powerful swell that grows while the ignorant and unsuspecting are violently tossed about in their wake.  To cope, we turn inward.  Others simply see a smile and don’t understand the emptiness and anguish behind it.  To the owner, it begs for relief.

Through reflection, we discover that a smile is worthless and deceptive if it is given without love and with an expectation of something in return.  On a leap of faith, we suspend judgment, slow down, smile, and ask a question of someone else that allows them to share authentically and connect with us.  Miraculously, we gain a new perspective on our gifting and we see love through different lenses.  Among the Thirsty says it so well in That’s what Love Looks Like, “Maybe it’s a Father working through the long night; maybe it’s a Mother trying to raise her kids right; maybe it’s a prayer on a long drive home.  Maybe it’s a soldier fighting on the front line; maybe it’s a preacher laying down his own life; maybe when You gave Your Son to die – That’s what love looks like.”

So stick with me! I am definitely on a roll and am headed deeper than ever before.  I won’t promise that I will take you where no man has ever gone before, but I am committed to exploring this adventure fully.  Proverbs 2:1-11 says,“My son, if you accept what I am telling you and store my counsel and directives deep within you; 2 If you listen for Lady Wisdom, attune your ears to her, and engage your mind to understand what she is telling you; 3 If you cry out to her for insight and beg for understanding; 4 If you sift through the clamor of everything around you to seek her like some precious prize, to search for her like buried treasure; 5 Then you will grasp what it means to truly respect the Eternal, and you will have discovered the knowledge of the one True God.  6 The Eternal is ready to share His wisdom with us, for His words bring true knowledge and insight; 7 He has stored up the essentials of sound wisdom for those who do right; He acts as a shield for those who value integrity.  8 God protects the paths of those who pursue justice, watching over the lives of those who keep faith with Him.  9 With this wisdom you will be able to choose the right road, seek justice, and decide what is good and fair 10 because wisdom will penetrate deep within and knowledge will become a good friend to your soul.  11 Sound judgment will stand guard over you, and understanding will watch over you as the Lord promised.” (VOICE)

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April 20, 2014

Rolling in the Deep

By valencia68

According to online dictionaries, reverberation means the persistence of a sound after its source has stopped, caused by multiple reflection of the sound within a closed space. Another meaning is continuing and serious effects. To reverberate is a verb whose origin is Latin with an early meaning of drive or beat back.

Today, we celebrate the resurrection of Christ Jesus, the day our savior defeated death and rose in triumph for us. The Father loved us so much, He sent His only begotten son to save (liberate, drive away, or beat back from eternal death) all who believe in Him – an action that continues to echo thousands of years after Jesus’ crucifixion, burial, and victorious rising. A Christian’s two primary objectives are to take up the cross daily and to help others become fully devoted followers of Jesus. Said another way, our aim is to continuously walk along His lighted path while resonating the good news of the gospel to others – actions that have a long-lasting powerful impact. But each of us is wired differently and we are given unique talents to use to accomplish the objectives.

I recently engaged in a conversation with someone whose profession posits the principle that “a person’s greatest place of pain is their greatest place of power and their area of weakness is their area of gifting.” The theory is that the journey taken to explore dark, hidden places to uncover our God-given riches is the same route that leads us to our purpose. To go there is to be willing to enter a game where in the first round of the first hand someone will play a cut card (not a 2, another low number, or even a face card – but a joker) and be willing to play on faith that you will not only win the hand but also the game and the set. To go there is to go deep into dark and hidden places, like caves and tunnels, with the understanding that the light on the other side is not a train, but your treasure. Casting Crowns tells us in Courageous, “We were made to be courageous. We were made to lead the way. We could be the generation that finally breaks the chains. We were made to be courageous. We were made to be courageous! Where are you, men of courage? You were made for so much more. Let the pounding of our hearts cry. We will serve the Lord.”

When I first heard the concept a few weeks ago, it took me for a loop and has had me in a perpetual state of “hmmm” since. I immediately knew it would cause tremendous growth in my life but comes with equal parts excitement and uncertainty. If my true desire is to serve the Lord, I must be courageous and strike out on a journey to discover my treasure and authentically live out my purpose. Romans 8:28-30 tells us: “28 We know that in everything God works for the good of those who love him. These are the people God chose, because that was his plan. 29 God knew them before he made the world. And he decided that they would be like his Son. Then Jesus would be the firstborn of many brothers and sisters. 30 God planned for them to be like his Son. He chose them and made them right with him. And after he made them right, he gave them his glory. (The Message)

I have struggled cognitively to wrap my mind around the full meaning of the concept and how polar opposites (pain/weakness and power/gifting) can be so closely connected. Although I am aware of many of my pain points and weaknesses, I am grappling with identifying my power and gifting. As I have begun my deep dive, here is what I have discovered: Pain is one of God’s teaching tools and a catalyst for change. Weakness is an insurance policy that as believers, we will remain reliant on Him. Power is the ability to leverage influence. It is a field of understanding based on experience. Gifting is a place of aptitude or deep-seated sturdiness discovered from many failings; in other words, zero to hero after many tries at many things many ways until it not only works, but efficiently so, based on the unique talents we each possess.

I know this is not an academic exercise. It is one of trial, error, and prayer, but will lead to living out my purpose. An example of this is my friend who spent decades as a nurse, a lifetime bringing compassion and healing to others. She came from a restrictive, closed environment where caring for others was not a priority. She knows firsthand what it is like to be treated badly. She applied those lessons to her tradecraft and leveraged positive influence on generations of others in the medical field. She felt as if she didn’t add much value when she attempted mechanical/object-oriented work. Her meaning came from interactions with people. Looking through the cold-heartedness of others, she found compassion in her treasure chest. Her difficulties working with things revealed the riches in relationships. She was daring enough to examine her pain and weaknesses to discover her power and gifting. Her journey led her to her purpose – a half century of compassionate healing; a hope for better things to come.

The questions I am now asking are: What were my catalysts? What did I go through and/or do to initiate the liberation process? What did I learn? What did God reveal through His word? What areas of my life do I have the most influence or potential for influence? How am I using it for good or in a way that is helpful? Although I am just beginning this exploration, I know it will be adventurous and I am eager to begin living out the reason for my existence. In I Am, Mark Shultz tells us, “I am the fount of living water, the risen son of man, the healer of the broken, and when you cry, I am your savior and redeemer, who bore the sins of man, the author and perfecter, beginning and the end – I am.

This season of lent gave us an opportunity to reflect deeply on our source of life and gain a keen understanding of the price that was paid to provide it to us. As we focused on His word and its effects on our life, hopefully we directed others to the trough of truth by reverberating His love and understanding. His death and resurrection created a composition that continuously resounds the will of the Father and the plans and promises he has for His people to build His kingdom here on earth.  1 Corinthians 15:55-57 says, “Hey, Death! What happened to your big win? Hey, Death! What happened to your sting? Sin came into this world, and death’s sting followed. Then sin took aim at the law and gained power over those who follow the law. Thank God, then, for our Lord Jesus, the Anointed, the Liberating King, who brought us victory over the grave. (The Voice)

So now…Roll with me! How deep are you willing to dig to find your treasures and discover your purpose – your role in God’s reverberation plan? As Francesca Battistelli tells us in It’s Your Life, “This is the moment. It’s on the line. Which way you gonna fall? In the middle between wrong and right, but you know after all. It’s your life. What you gonna do? The world is watching you. Every day the choices you make say what you are and who your heart beats for. It’s an open door. It’s your life. Are you who you always said you would be? With a sinking feeling in your chest, always waiting for someone else to fix you; tell me when did you forget to live the way that you believe. This is your opportunity to let your life be one that lights the way.”

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