Tag Archives: Weakness

December 26, 2014

Full of Surprises

By valencia68

“God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing.” C.S. Lewis

I met with a sister who is new to the area for tea the other day. We opened the lines of communication by learning a little about each other’s backgrounds. As she placed a few pieces of the puzzle of her life face up on the table, I began to recognize some of the name brand barricades in the backdrop.

Like all of us, she is a ball of yarn that will take time to unravel. She is colorful and flexible and is a critical thread in any fabric that is woven with her. Unfortunately, she doesn’t realize it. She sees the face of God from a distance but can’t feel His real proximity. She moves about on her path never observing the safety warning that says, “objects in the mirror are closer than they appear.” She toddles along believing that she has many miles beyond the horizon to go before she can reach her Lord and Savior and constantly collides with clearly marked obstructions called unforgiven, unloved, and undeserving. All creation cried out with longing, with groans only You could comprehend; and with wisdom, You always answer and give the words of life so unfailing. – The Way by Jeremy Camp

As we continued to talk, I learned we have a lot more in common than meets the eye. I learned we both gain our energy from within, we are both guilty of the sin of too much self-reliance, and that the nightmares of the ugliness of others still creep into our days. We find great comfort in concepts such as mission, battle rhythm, and stronghold. We push forward and are always willing to lead the way into unchartered territory – unless that exploration requires an examination of the dark places where our points of pain lay. Then it’s time to rip the cord out of the wall, stopping the music and the madness. We do that by repressing those ghosts of experiences past deep into closets we mistake as graves.

As I began to scratch the surface of the places that lead to her darkness, her eyes welled up with tears. We skirted near the shallow fields of a few more skeleton crypts and the daunted, dazed, disbelieving girl of years ago came screaming from the darkness of the past into the now. As she sat quietly, taking in everything the spirit was saying through me, I reminded her of a great lesson I learned from a mentor on my journey. It is “that which we repress comes back to the party in a different dress, just at a time and a place that is not convenient or of our choosing.” The good news is that treasures are hidden in dark places. If we rely on Him, He will lead us to our trove of prizes; our paragon full of surprises. John Chapter 1:1-5 (NIV) tells us, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was with God in the beginning. 3 Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. 4 In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. 5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” And Your glory shines all around us; Your faithfulness shown for all to see. When we think of all of Your wonders, the beauty of Your plan that’s been revealed, we walk in Your light. We walk in it. Shine bright. Let Your glory fill this land; lift high, the King of Kings and great I am. Jesus, You are the way

I shared some of the nastiness I used to hide behind a façade. We talked about a few bones that used to fly out of my closet as soon as the door cracked ever so slightly. We chatted about our pursuit of peace and quiet. We discussed our inner desires to be strong and others’ reliance on us to be the tie that binds the unit together. Her eyes locked onto mine as if to say, “you too?” As her eyes filled with tears again, there seemed to be a sigh of relief that came from our common connection. I shared that I learned the hard way that to truly be undaunted, unflappable, and unchained, I had to become vulnerable. I had to be willing to expose the nerve endings of my pain and the full extent of my weaknesses. Through that discomfort, He gave me the courage I needed to enter those dark places. He, The Light, illuminated my treasures. My power and gifting were then birthed through the womb of vulnerability. Through the journey, His brightness shone through the crevices of my weaknesses and pain. I also shared these three things I have learned in the process:

  1. He has forgiven me for all that I have done wrong.
  2. He loves me even with my breaks and cracks.
  3. He has taught me that His grace is His eternal gift to me without regard for what I deserve.

My reflection on my tea time has me here:

It is in my many moments of complete emptiness that God says, “Here I am…Walk with Me. Your strength comes from Me, and Me alone. If only you would take my hand, I will take you to heights beyond the farthest boundaries of your imagination. Hold back, and you will forever remain in the middle of this mess. I am full of surprises! Come with me so I may show you your treasures. I am The Light. If you stay with Me, there is no reason for you to ever be afraid of darkness.”

I am looking forward to exposing many more of my cracks to this sister in hopes that she will see His light shining through them. Until then, my prayer is that she becomes mindful that the cold canyon that contains the anguish, agony, and ache of tortured ghosts from experiences past, is best crossed on a bridge named vulnerability with a guide called God. She is a beautiful sister with unabridged potential. Her happiness is His truth. I can’t wait to see His greatness unleashed through her. Her treasures are there for the taking; full of wonder, amazement, and surprise. We can see the works of Your loving hands with a hope and peace not made by man. When You poured out Your grace and Your mercy and You held out Your arms so we could see You bled for all mankind and set the captives free.

“Simeon was there and took the child in his arms, praising God. ‘Lord,’ he said, ‘now I can die content! For I have seen him as you promised me I would. I have seen the Savior you have given to the world. He is the Light that will shine upon the nations, and he will be the glory of your people Israel!’” Luke 2:28-32 (TLB)

May you always be willing to ask for Him and take His hand. May His light always shine through you.  Come along side someone else and share your story. Be the love!

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September 21, 2014

Do Life Big

By valencia68

“What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise.” – Oscar Wilde

To the many women in my life who have prayed for me this year: Thank you!  I have needed it, it has helped, and I am back.  The summer was rough but it is now behind us.  Fall is upon us and it is time to live in this moment.  Each day in the month of September has been better than the last.  When I awakened this morning, the first thought on my mind was the need to release the relentless thoughts of the challenges of the most difficult 42 days of the year.  There have been 215 other absolutely fabulous days in the same year.  I will not allow this difficult minority to haunt the fantastic majority any longer.  I made it through and am here now to press on towards greater things.

Our God has given us a spirit of courage and a charge to do life big.  There is much to accomplish in the vineyard and little time to get it done.  The growing season is behind us and the harvest is upon us.  Now is the time to dream big and dare to fail; throw caution to the wind and live out our purpose; leave isolation behind us and live out loud; abandon doubt and love boldly; press on and be optimistic.  Solitude is sinful when there are so many souls searching.  The glass menagerie, the ornamental exhibit of 42 captives, has shattered.  The pieces of pain have been laid at the foot of the cross, in an acknowledgment of what they are and an acceptance that we are not in it alone.   In His time, He will take what is left, multiply them, then divide them so they can be used for His glory.

The commentary in The Voice translation in 2 Corinthians 13 tells us, “Weakness looks like failure in the eyes of the world, but…weakness is an avenue to share in Jesus’ death and, therefore, in His life as well.  The challenge is to remain faithful even in the difficult times, even when there is no one left to provide support.  It is in these times that God’s power and comfort are most evident.  This call to embrace weakness and suffering is difficult.  It is normal to run from pain.  But the examples of Jesus in the Gospels, of Paul in his letters, and of David in the psalms are of finding God’s strength in times of weakness.”  “Keep, keep On…. Never Say Die… When in the midst of sorrow, you can’ t see up when looking down.  A brighter day tomorrow will bring.  You hear the voice of reason telling you this can’t ever be done.  No matter how hard reality seems, just hold on to your dreams.  Don’t give up and don’t give in although it seems you never win.  You will always pass the test as long as you keep your head to the sky.  You can win as long as you keep your head to the sky.  You can win as long as you keep your head to the sky.  Be optimistic!”  Sounds of Blackness – Optimistic

If anyone understood the harshness of this world, the Son of Man did.  He left His place in heaven and laid it all on the line just so we can live in eternity with Him.  His suffering was great and he paid the ultimate price for us.  Through it all, God was with Him.  Through His obedience, He fulfilled the scriptures so we would never be separated from Him again.

Mark 15:15-37 in part tells us, “15 When Pilate saw that he could not persuade the crowd to change its mind, he…had Jesus publicly whipped, which was the normal prelude to crucifixion.  Then he had Jesus led away to be crucified…17 They put a purple robe on Him and made a crown of thorns that they forced onto His head, 18 and they began to cry out in mock salute.  19 For a long while they beat Him on the head with a reed, spat upon Him, and knelt down as if to honor Him.  20 When they had finished mocking Him, they stripped off His purple robe and put His own clothes back on Him.  Then they took Him away to be executed…24 And so they crucified Him, divided up His clothes, and cast lots (an ancient equivalent of rolling dice) to see who would keep the clothes they had stripped from Him.  25 His crucifixion began about nine o’clock in the morning…29 Those passing by on their way into or out of Jerusalem insulted and ridiculed Him…33 At noon, the day suddenly darkened for three hours across the entire land.  34 Sometime around three o’clock Jesus called out in a loud voice.  Jesus: Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?  Jesus was speaking, as in the psalms, ‘My God, My God, why have You turned Your back on Me?’…37 Then Jesus cried out with a loud voice, and He took His last breath.  38 At that moment, the curtain in the temple was torn in two from top to bottom.

The commentary from the VOICE translation of Mark 15 explains, “The tearing of the temple veil is a picture of what Jesus’ death has accomplished.  The temple sanctuary is divided into two sections: the holy place and the most holy place.  The most holy place is a chamber so sanctified that only the high priest can enter—and then only once a year.  There God’s presence is manifest on earth.  A long curtain divides the two areas, and at the moment of Jesus’ death it is torn in two.  The veil that serves as a means to protect everyone but the high priest from the power of God’s presence is no longer needed because Jesus, on account of His sacrificial death, gives everyone access to God.  Only God Himself can rip the curtain in two ‘from top to bottom,’ opening the way for people to come into His presence.”

Our God is with us from beginning to end, through all of our triumphs and trials.  What made the victory of conquering the mountain so sweet is that we traversed the valley first.  The climb was steep, intense, and arduous.  But we did it because we remained faithful and persevered with the support of others who believe in His vision.

Jesus came to earth and lived out His mission, which included many trials, challenges and difficulties.  His example was to go all out and to be all in without regard for how hard it might be.  The challenges of the summer taught me many lessons and I now know that they were each a blessing in disguise.  Through my weakness, I gained strength; because of adversity, I received wisdom; in my moments of despair, seedlings of hope blossomed.  “If things around you crumble, no you don’t have to stumble and fall.  Keep pushing on and don’t you look back.  I know that storms and strife cloud up your outlook on life.  Just think ahead and you’ll be inspired to reach higher and higher.  You’ll always do your best if you learn to never say never.  You may be down but you’re not out.  Don’t give up and don’t give in although it seems you never win.  You will always pass the test as long as you keep your head to the sky.  You can win as long as you keep your head to the sky (you can win child).  You can win as long as you keep your head to the sky.  Be optimistic! – Optimistic

11-13 And that’s about it, friends.  Be cheerful.  Keep things in good repair.  Keep your spirits up.  Think in harmony.  Be agreeable.  Do all that, and the God of love and peace will be with you for sure.  Greet one another with a holy embrace.  2 Corinthians 13:11-13

Now that you know there is nothing standing between you and Him, what’s stopping you?  What is your calling in life?  Whatever it is, pursue it earnestly.  Leave nothing on the table and no room for regrets.  He is with you and your sisters are praying for you.  What power against you can prevail?  Now go get ‘em!  Whatever He is calling you to do, do it big.

 

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June 6, 2014

Let It Go!

By valencia68

As I sat in the garden, relishing the peace and serenity of the petite private grounds, amidst the conical wooded backdrop, I learned something.  I was in a place endowed with the beauty of ever-ripening mulberries, dangling from soft leaf-filled branches, when I felt something.  I was enjoying the subtle fragrances of lavender, mint, and rosemary when I smelled something.  I was watching the splendor of the color-bursts from the trumpeting pansies, while the squirrels took brunch from the branches, when I saw something.  I was listening to the orchestra of avian voices, in concert in the background, when I heard something.  God awakened my senses and I realized that this is Canaan – the land of milk and honey.  Where ever I am today, I have nothing to fear here because He is with me and His spirit is in me.  The treasures He has for me are mine for the taking.

This sixty seconds of breathtaking and vibrant change of perspective on the life He has given me is one of the many treasures he stored up for me.  My purpose today is to love His people through the virtues of justice and peace.  In this moment, my power is influencing others; my gifting is inspiring them; my pain is fear and my weakness is speed.  However, when I slow down, we connect.  When I encourage and guide, He transforms hearts.  When I am fearless, bold, and courageous, miraculous things happen in His kingdom.  Romans 8:15-17 says, “This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life.  It’s adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike “What’s next, Papa?”  God’s Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are.  We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children.  And we know we are going to get what’s coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance!  We go through exactly what Christ goes through.  If we go through the hard times with him, then we’re certainly going to go through the good times with him!”  This scripture gives us the confidence to move out on the certainty of His promises in pursuit of our purpose without reservation or fear.

As I have been on this quest to understand the correlation between pain, power, weakness, and gifting, I have engaged in a lot of introspection.  There have been moments when I sensed great movement and others when I felt helplessly stuck – confined, restrained, even imprisoned.  My jailer’s name is fear and he is my most formidable enemy.  Everyday, my captor tries to unbraid my nerve and rattle my faith.  Thankfully, he cannot touch my essence.  My spirit has remained strong and my courage must persist, intact, to allow me to serve my master fully.  In Mighty to Save, Hillsong United says, “Everyone needs compassion.  A love that’s never-failing, let mercy fall on me.  Well, everyone needs forgiveness; the kindness of a Savior; the hope of nations…  So take me as You find me, all my fears and failures.  Fill my life again.  I give my life to follow everything I believe in.  I surrender…I surrender.”

My reflections on this made me assess what motivates me to give less than my all in every circumstance.  I realized the times when I hold back are because of avoidance of these emotions:

  1. Shame – fear of disconnection
  2. Embarrassment – fear of judgment
  3. Afraid – fear of danger
  4. Humiliation – fear of torment
  5. Defensiveness – fear of punishment
  6. Anger – fear of the needless
  7. Jealousy – fear of inadequacy
  8. Timorous – fear of failure

I realized that it is impossible to inspire and love His people and administer justice and peace as I am called to do when I have a spirit of fear.  I am not perfect and will mess up time and time again.  Pressing on in spite of the hurts, setbacks, and disappointments is what He asks of me.  Making the most of my talents is my direction while authentically embracing the other mortals around me.  Most of all, I am required to release the enemy among us – this spirit called fear. Just let it go and be me!  Casting Crowns says, “Is there anyone that fails?  Is there anyone that falls?  Am I the only one in church today feelin’ so small?  ‘Cause when I take a look around everybody seems so strong.  I know they’ll soon discover that I don’t belong.  So I tuck it all away, like every thing’s okay.  If I make them all believe it, maybe I’ll believe it too.  So, with a painted grin, I play the part again; so, everyone will see me the way that I see them…  Is there anyone who’s been there?  Are there any hands to raise?  Am I the only one who’s traded in the altar for a stage?  The performance is convincing and we know every line by heart.  Only when no one is watching can we really fall apart.  But would it set me free if I dared to let you see the truth behind the person that you imagine me to be?  Would your arms be open?  Or would you walk away?  Would the love of Jesus be enough to make you stay?” – Stained Glass Masquerade.  God goes to work when we admit we are weak.  Christ is always in us and the spirit is always with us.  Therefore, we have nothing to fear; least of all those we are called to love.

2 Timothy 1:6-7 says, “6 This being so, I want to remind you to stir into flame the strength and boldness that is in you, that entered into you when I laid my hands upon your head and blessed you.  7 For the Holy Spirit, God’s gift, does not want you to be afraid of people, but to be wise and strong, and to love them and enjoy being with them.”

Look, listen, and feel – the squirrels flit about, the birds sing, the herbs disburse their scent, the efflorescent hues erupt from the floral arrangements on the small plot the Lord has lent.  Recognize them as His gifts.  Act – when you step out into the world today, put on your armor of courage and live this day fearlessly.  The captor’s shackles have been loosened.  His pessimistic voice has been silenced. Flex your muscles.  Be brave.  Go!  Run like the wind and try to outpace a speeding bullet.  You may not win the race but may discover a specialized use for metal or lead in the process.  Try to lasso the power of a barreling locomotive.  The rope may fall but maybe you will harness energy that provides electricity to the Serengeti. Try to leap small buildings in a single bound.  Perhaps the prosthetics you invent on the rebound will be legs for those who don’t have them.

We are free.  Only our jailer remains behind bars.  Smile, laugh, connect, inspire, influence, and love.  Holding back is no longer an option.  Your treasures are here and now, with so much more to come.  Pursue your purpose fearlessly!  As for fear itself, let it go. “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.  The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” – Theodore Roosevelt

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June 1, 2014

The Bold and Beautiful

By valencia68

If the path be beautiful, let us not ask where it leads. – Anatole France

Over the holiday weekend, I attended a woman’s conference.  Something I learned is that the original Webster’s dictionary defined beautiful as the quality present when one’s purpose is understood.  For the past six weeks I have been on a quest to better understand how to unpack the following purpose-focused principle: “A person’s greatest place of pain is their greatest place of power and their area of weakness is their area of gifting.”  The biblical information in several of the sessions helped to shed carnival-style floodlight illumination into the dark spaces that contain my treasures along the path to discovering my purpose.  Because of this journey, I am beginning to wear the label beautiful.

My biggest takeaways from the conference were that amazing, powerful, and moving things happen when 1400 women gather in His name; be bold; and be the love for those around you.  Experiencing the exchanges of love between this large group of strangers brought me here:

Love has no natural enemy; we allow fear of rejection to become Love’s kryptonite. Love withheld is self-hate.  Love shared is multiplied. Love repressed is deceitful.  Love expressed is pure joy. Love’s touch is a hug.  Love’s tenderness is a kiss. Love rejected is depression.  Love explored is an adventure.  Love structured is a cell block.  Love is free and so it flows. Love with obedience is bold.  Love without action is defeat.  Love laden with doubt is fear.  Love like Christ is pure trust and acceptance. “For the first time in my life I saw the truth as it is set into song by so many poets, proclaimed as the final wisdom by so many thinkers.  The truth – that Love is the ultimate and highest goal to which man can aspire.  Then I grasped the meaning of the greatest secret that human poetry and human thought and belief have to impart: The salvation of man is through love and in love.” – Viktor E. Frankl

The experience of the conference was as challenging as it was stimulating and liberating.  After musing on the messages, combing through the cascades of thoughts, and sorting through the signs and signals provided by my guides and teachers, I came to the realization that: the wonders of my future are connected to the experiences of my past; bridging the chasms between the two requires a reset of my defaults for habits and reactions that no longer serve me well; fear is the only thing that can prevent me from getting there; being beautiful is only one step of boldness away; and love is the center of it all.  Said another way, the treasures of my purpose will be revealed if I use prayerfulness, gratitude and love to release fear of the future and shame from the past.

People have struggled with this forever.  The Israelites are prime examples.  We all know they spent many years in the desert on a journey from bondage in Egypt to the Promised Land.  But fear turned a two year journey into a forty year trip.  Instead of parents with newborns (who escaped slavery in Egypt) arriving in Canaan with their toddlers, they arrived with their great-grand children.  Fear (False Evidence Appearing Real) caused them first to wonder about the truth God revealed and then to wander away from the riches He had in store for them.

In Numbers 13 (VOICE), the scripture tells us: “There is dissension in the camp.  Some of the leaders have been sharing their doubts with the people, and folks are nervous.  The thrill of this wilderness camping experience has worn off, and some are thinking that working for the Egyptians wasn’t so bad.  So barely two years out of Egypt, the Israelites are standing at the door of their promised land.  Moses needs to motivate the people, and he selects 12 key men from each of the tribes to explore the land of abundance God has provided.  The nation stands to enter into a time of great reward, but first their leaders must bring back a report that will inspire their confidence.”  Specifically: “1 The Lord said to Moses ‘Choose one of the leaders from each of the twelve tribes and send them as spies to explore the land of Canaan, which I am giving to the Israelites.’” Later it says: “27 We checked out the land, just as you’d instructed us to do, and here’s what we discovered: It is rich, very rich. One could say that it flows with milk and honey; and look, here is some of its fruit.  The land is highly desirable, 28but the people who already live there are really strong.  Their cities are enormous and fortified.  What’s more, we saw the Anakites there.  29 In the Negev, there are Amalekites; and in the high hill country are Hittites, Jebusites, and Amorites.  As for the seacoast, Canaanites live there and along the Jordan River too. 30 But Caleb calmed the congregation, and he spoke to Moses.  Caleb: We should go straight in, right away, and take it over.  We are surely able!  Other Scouts: 31No way.  We can’t do it.  The people who are already there are too strong for us.  32So the report of these other scouts was quite disheartening; it made the people question God’s promise.”

Fear created doubt which made the Israelites weak.  It caused them to endure the pain associated with remaining in the desert.  Consequently, their treasures, the Promised Land, were not available to them for another 38 years.  They eventually saw the truth on the banks of the Jordan River three generations later; the same truth that gave Caleb courage decades earlier back in Number 13.  Fast forward a few decades and Joshua 1:1-3 says, “1 After the death of the Lord’s servant Moses, the Lord spoke to Moses’ helper, Joshua son of Nun.2 He said, My servant Moses is dead. Get ready now, you and all the people of Israel, and cross the Jordan River into the land that I am giving them.  3 As I told Moses, I have given you and all my people the entire land that you will be marching over.” (GNT)  Only then did the Israelites wade through the darkness of the desert to arrive into the light of the Promised Land.

The story made me question this: What treasures have eluded me because of doubt or fear?  What areas of my life am I holding back because of insecurity?  How many years have I been held captive by the anxiety of past pain?  How many times am I going to pass up God’s promises because of worry or apprehension – when He has led me to the doorstep of greater things, if only I wrap my heart and mind around the confidence and assurances that come with being a child swaddled in the cradle of His love?

My thoughts on the matter have reminded me of these truths:

  1. The power of prayer will help us to heal the pains of our past.
  2. A spirit of fear is our greatest weakness.
  3. Embrace our struggles because they built our strength.
  4. Boldness is an act of obedience which leads to being beautiful.
  5. Love is our greatest gift.

In Beautiful Things, Gungor tells us: “All this pain, I wonder if I’ll ever find my way?  I wonder if my life could really change at all?  All this earth; could all that is lost ever be found?  Could a garden come up from this ground at all?  All around hope is springing up from this old ground.  Out of chaos life is being found in You.  You make beautiful things…”

Hey beautiful!  Go, be bold.  Step out there.  Pursue your purpose.  Lose the shackles of doubt and fear.  Be free.  His promises are at your feet.  Leave your pain and weaknesses in the desert.  They were your experiences but they do not define you.  Use your power and strength to take what has been set aside for you.  Your gifts await you.  But you must show courage to get them the first time around.  His love will get you there if you simply see it for the truth that it is.

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May 6, 2014

Rolling in the Deep, part II

By valencia68

As I look out over the ocean and watch the waves crash ashore, I wonder what makes them do that.  Although I could learn more from a book or online, I already know that the energy that drives them is deep-rooted and their power is strongly tied to their reason for existence.  This cascade of thoughts brought me back to the principle that “a person’s greatest place of pain is their greatest place of power and their area of weakness is their area of gifting.”

After weeks of musing this notion, I have learned that deep-thinking, perception, introspection, reflection, and intuition are the stronger parts of my power center.  A calm demeanor and a warm, welcoming smile are spokes in my gifting wheel.  Speed and seeking results to the exclusion of relationships are certainly some of my weaknesses.  And pain, well we will get to that.

Although I believe there is much more searching to do in dark places to discover my treasures, the few I have found are helping me to uncover my purpose.  Based on what I know today, I believe a large part of my purpose is about loving His people.  As Force Family 5 tells us in Let it be Love, “I’ve never seen a soul set free through an argument.  I’ve never seen a hurt get healed in a protest.  But I’ve seen sinners turned to saints because of grace.  It’s love, love that lights the way – Love that lights the way.  Let it be our arms wide open, bigger than the words we’ve spoken.  Let it be our heart for the broken, If we’re gonna light, light, light the way to You.  Let it be love…Nothing but love…It’s love that lights the way.  It’s not about the stand we take, but the grace we give.  It’s not about the name we make, but the life we live.  Heard about a King who stepped down, took my place; True Love gave His life away.  It’s love that lights the way.”  

How are those talents unique?  How can they be used to achieve my purpose?  The answer begins with prayer and an intentional shift to a relationship orientation.   Galatians 5:13-14 tells us, “13 Brothers and sisters, God has called you to freedom!  Hear the call, and do not spoil this gift by using your liberty to engage in what your flesh desires; instead, use it to serve each other as Jesus taught through love.  14 For the whole law comes down to this one instruction: “Love your neighbor as yourself,”” (The Voice)

Now….let’s examine this a little closer.  We’ve all heard it, “we were not built to be an island.”  Humans have an intrinsic desire for connection.  However, typically those that are closest to us hurt us the most.  How can we gain power from pain inflicted by those who claim to love and care for us?  Well, here is an example of how it may work:  an older relative teases us relentlessly about being overweight as a child (that’s a point of pain).  In our youth, we learn how to control our conditions and circumstances in extreme ways, i.e. over-eating, anorexia, bulimia, etc.  Thankfully through maturity, that control turns into positive influence – relating to, gently guiding, and teaching those around us to more constructive outlets (that’s power).

What about the connection of weakness to gifting?  For instance, speed like most other things, has a light and shadow side.  When it is used to blow past people for the purpose of preventing or controlling connections to other humans, it is a weakness.  For a while, this weakness seems to work in our favor because we move about unimpeded while capturing meaningless results.  Then illness or some other misfortune stops us dead in our tracks and we have to heavily rely on another.  In our stillness, we look into the eyes of our helper and connect with her.  She teaches us, through patience and grace, that we are all reliant upon each other in some way for something.  In the quiet of a night during our convalescence, we wrestle with the lessons given to us.  We roll a little deeper and begin to peel back the layers of emotions covered that caused us to speed through life so fast that the seal of feelings between us and those around us could not ever tighten.  What we learn in those dark moments is that we have a trough full of love, disguised as wisdom and ideas, that is eagerly and anxiously waiting to be shared.  Until that precious point in time, we simply were never willing to risk being vulnerable enough to examine the real truth.  Instead, we had relied upon the deception of fear (False Evidence Appearing Real), something that prevented us from giving away the gifts provided to us for the benefit of others.  Our biggest take away is that exposure doesn’t kill us, but instead makes of stronger.  Ecclesiastes 7:18-20 tells us, “18 Avoid both extremes.  If you have reverence for God, you will be successful anyway.  19 Wisdom does more for a person than ten rulers can do for a city.  20There is no one on earth who does what is right all the time and never makes a mistake.”  (GNT)

Let’s look at another example:  Someone close to us always uses a quixotic approach to life’s issues.  At every turn, there is a great hype at the presentation of another dream pursued.  Each pursuit causes continuous and major setbacks.  The ripple effect of the nostalgic impracticality causes the innocent to ride mediocre waves that violently crash ashore.  If this is our plight, anytime we feel the slightest bit of instability, we use the art of disengagement to prevent others from hurting us.  Unfortunately, life is full of rocky roads and unstable ground.  When we push back at the slightest hint of a tremor, we learn not to see relationships through (that’s weakness).  We never learn that tenacity or perseverance while loving others are tenets that are helpful to our lives.  As we move through life, we realize that others’ idealisms are medicated approaches to situations that lack meaningful connections and/or true sense of community.  The decisions made to eradicate loneliness turned out to be more like a seaward bound rip current – a powerful swell that grows while the ignorant and unsuspecting are violently tossed about in their wake.  To cope, we turn inward.  Others simply see a smile and don’t understand the emptiness and anguish behind it.  To the owner, it begs for relief.

Through reflection, we discover that a smile is worthless and deceptive if it is given without love and with an expectation of something in return.  On a leap of faith, we suspend judgment, slow down, smile, and ask a question of someone else that allows them to share authentically and connect with us.  Miraculously, we gain a new perspective on our gifting and we see love through different lenses.  Among the Thirsty says it so well in That’s what Love Looks Like, “Maybe it’s a Father working through the long night; maybe it’s a Mother trying to raise her kids right; maybe it’s a prayer on a long drive home.  Maybe it’s a soldier fighting on the front line; maybe it’s a preacher laying down his own life; maybe when You gave Your Son to die – That’s what love looks like.”

So stick with me! I am definitely on a roll and am headed deeper than ever before.  I won’t promise that I will take you where no man has ever gone before, but I am committed to exploring this adventure fully.  Proverbs 2:1-11 says,“My son, if you accept what I am telling you and store my counsel and directives deep within you; 2 If you listen for Lady Wisdom, attune your ears to her, and engage your mind to understand what she is telling you; 3 If you cry out to her for insight and beg for understanding; 4 If you sift through the clamor of everything around you to seek her like some precious prize, to search for her like buried treasure; 5 Then you will grasp what it means to truly respect the Eternal, and you will have discovered the knowledge of the one True God.  6 The Eternal is ready to share His wisdom with us, for His words bring true knowledge and insight; 7 He has stored up the essentials of sound wisdom for those who do right; He acts as a shield for those who value integrity.  8 God protects the paths of those who pursue justice, watching over the lives of those who keep faith with Him.  9 With this wisdom you will be able to choose the right road, seek justice, and decide what is good and fair 10 because wisdom will penetrate deep within and knowledge will become a good friend to your soul.  11 Sound judgment will stand guard over you, and understanding will watch over you as the Lord promised.” (VOICE)

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April 20, 2014

Rolling in the Deep

By valencia68

According to online dictionaries, reverberation means the persistence of a sound after its source has stopped, caused by multiple reflection of the sound within a closed space. Another meaning is continuing and serious effects. To reverberate is a verb whose origin is Latin with an early meaning of drive or beat back.

Today, we celebrate the resurrection of Christ Jesus, the day our savior defeated death and rose in triumph for us. The Father loved us so much, He sent His only begotten son to save (liberate, drive away, or beat back from eternal death) all who believe in Him – an action that continues to echo thousands of years after Jesus’ crucifixion, burial, and victorious rising. A Christian’s two primary objectives are to take up the cross daily and to help others become fully devoted followers of Jesus. Said another way, our aim is to continuously walk along His lighted path while resonating the good news of the gospel to others – actions that have a long-lasting powerful impact. But each of us is wired differently and we are given unique talents to use to accomplish the objectives.

I recently engaged in a conversation with someone whose profession posits the principle that “a person’s greatest place of pain is their greatest place of power and their area of weakness is their area of gifting.” The theory is that the journey taken to explore dark, hidden places to uncover our God-given riches is the same route that leads us to our purpose. To go there is to be willing to enter a game where in the first round of the first hand someone will play a cut card (not a 2, another low number, or even a face card – but a joker) and be willing to play on faith that you will not only win the hand but also the game and the set. To go there is to go deep into dark and hidden places, like caves and tunnels, with the understanding that the light on the other side is not a train, but your treasure. Casting Crowns tells us in Courageous, “We were made to be courageous. We were made to lead the way. We could be the generation that finally breaks the chains. We were made to be courageous. We were made to be courageous! Where are you, men of courage? You were made for so much more. Let the pounding of our hearts cry. We will serve the Lord.”

When I first heard the concept a few weeks ago, it took me for a loop and has had me in a perpetual state of “hmmm” since. I immediately knew it would cause tremendous growth in my life but comes with equal parts excitement and uncertainty. If my true desire is to serve the Lord, I must be courageous and strike out on a journey to discover my treasure and authentically live out my purpose. Romans 8:28-30 tells us: “28 We know that in everything God works for the good of those who love him. These are the people God chose, because that was his plan. 29 God knew them before he made the world. And he decided that they would be like his Son. Then Jesus would be the firstborn of many brothers and sisters. 30 God planned for them to be like his Son. He chose them and made them right with him. And after he made them right, he gave them his glory. (The Message)

I have struggled cognitively to wrap my mind around the full meaning of the concept and how polar opposites (pain/weakness and power/gifting) can be so closely connected. Although I am aware of many of my pain points and weaknesses, I am grappling with identifying my power and gifting. As I have begun my deep dive, here is what I have discovered: Pain is one of God’s teaching tools and a catalyst for change. Weakness is an insurance policy that as believers, we will remain reliant on Him. Power is the ability to leverage influence. It is a field of understanding based on experience. Gifting is a place of aptitude or deep-seated sturdiness discovered from many failings; in other words, zero to hero after many tries at many things many ways until it not only works, but efficiently so, based on the unique talents we each possess.

I know this is not an academic exercise. It is one of trial, error, and prayer, but will lead to living out my purpose. An example of this is my friend who spent decades as a nurse, a lifetime bringing compassion and healing to others. She came from a restrictive, closed environment where caring for others was not a priority. She knows firsthand what it is like to be treated badly. She applied those lessons to her tradecraft and leveraged positive influence on generations of others in the medical field. She felt as if she didn’t add much value when she attempted mechanical/object-oriented work. Her meaning came from interactions with people. Looking through the cold-heartedness of others, she found compassion in her treasure chest. Her difficulties working with things revealed the riches in relationships. She was daring enough to examine her pain and weaknesses to discover her power and gifting. Her journey led her to her purpose – a half century of compassionate healing; a hope for better things to come.

The questions I am now asking are: What were my catalysts? What did I go through and/or do to initiate the liberation process? What did I learn? What did God reveal through His word? What areas of my life do I have the most influence or potential for influence? How am I using it for good or in a way that is helpful? Although I am just beginning this exploration, I know it will be adventurous and I am eager to begin living out the reason for my existence. In I Am, Mark Shultz tells us, “I am the fount of living water, the risen son of man, the healer of the broken, and when you cry, I am your savior and redeemer, who bore the sins of man, the author and perfecter, beginning and the end – I am.

This season of lent gave us an opportunity to reflect deeply on our source of life and gain a keen understanding of the price that was paid to provide it to us. As we focused on His word and its effects on our life, hopefully we directed others to the trough of truth by reverberating His love and understanding. His death and resurrection created a composition that continuously resounds the will of the Father and the plans and promises he has for His people to build His kingdom here on earth.  1 Corinthians 15:55-57 says, “Hey, Death! What happened to your big win? Hey, Death! What happened to your sting? Sin came into this world, and death’s sting followed. Then sin took aim at the law and gained power over those who follow the law. Thank God, then, for our Lord Jesus, the Anointed, the Liberating King, who brought us victory over the grave. (The Voice)

So now…Roll with me! How deep are you willing to dig to find your treasures and discover your purpose – your role in God’s reverberation plan? As Francesca Battistelli tells us in It’s Your Life, “This is the moment. It’s on the line. Which way you gonna fall? In the middle between wrong and right, but you know after all. It’s your life. What you gonna do? The world is watching you. Every day the choices you make say what you are and who your heart beats for. It’s an open door. It’s your life. Are you who you always said you would be? With a sinking feeling in your chest, always waiting for someone else to fix you; tell me when did you forget to live the way that you believe. This is your opportunity to let your life be one that lights the way.”

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