Tag Archives: love

June 1, 2014

The Bold and Beautiful

By valencia68

If the path be beautiful, let us not ask where it leads. – Anatole France

Over the holiday weekend, I attended a woman’s conference.  Something I learned is that the original Webster’s dictionary defined beautiful as the quality present when one’s purpose is understood.  For the past six weeks I have been on a quest to better understand how to unpack the following purpose-focused principle: “A person’s greatest place of pain is their greatest place of power and their area of weakness is their area of gifting.”  The biblical information in several of the sessions helped to shed carnival-style floodlight illumination into the dark spaces that contain my treasures along the path to discovering my purpose.  Because of this journey, I am beginning to wear the label beautiful.

My biggest takeaways from the conference were that amazing, powerful, and moving things happen when 1400 women gather in His name; be bold; and be the love for those around you.  Experiencing the exchanges of love between this large group of strangers brought me here:

Love has no natural enemy; we allow fear of rejection to become Love’s kryptonite. Love withheld is self-hate.  Love shared is multiplied. Love repressed is deceitful.  Love expressed is pure joy. Love’s touch is a hug.  Love’s tenderness is a kiss. Love rejected is depression.  Love explored is an adventure.  Love structured is a cell block.  Love is free and so it flows. Love with obedience is bold.  Love without action is defeat.  Love laden with doubt is fear.  Love like Christ is pure trust and acceptance. “For the first time in my life I saw the truth as it is set into song by so many poets, proclaimed as the final wisdom by so many thinkers.  The truth – that Love is the ultimate and highest goal to which man can aspire.  Then I grasped the meaning of the greatest secret that human poetry and human thought and belief have to impart: The salvation of man is through love and in love.” – Viktor E. Frankl

The experience of the conference was as challenging as it was stimulating and liberating.  After musing on the messages, combing through the cascades of thoughts, and sorting through the signs and signals provided by my guides and teachers, I came to the realization that: the wonders of my future are connected to the experiences of my past; bridging the chasms between the two requires a reset of my defaults for habits and reactions that no longer serve me well; fear is the only thing that can prevent me from getting there; being beautiful is only one step of boldness away; and love is the center of it all.  Said another way, the treasures of my purpose will be revealed if I use prayerfulness, gratitude and love to release fear of the future and shame from the past.

People have struggled with this forever.  The Israelites are prime examples.  We all know they spent many years in the desert on a journey from bondage in Egypt to the Promised Land.  But fear turned a two year journey into a forty year trip.  Instead of parents with newborns (who escaped slavery in Egypt) arriving in Canaan with their toddlers, they arrived with their great-grand children.  Fear (False Evidence Appearing Real) caused them first to wonder about the truth God revealed and then to wander away from the riches He had in store for them.

In Numbers 13 (VOICE), the scripture tells us: “There is dissension in the camp.  Some of the leaders have been sharing their doubts with the people, and folks are nervous.  The thrill of this wilderness camping experience has worn off, and some are thinking that working for the Egyptians wasn’t so bad.  So barely two years out of Egypt, the Israelites are standing at the door of their promised land.  Moses needs to motivate the people, and he selects 12 key men from each of the tribes to explore the land of abundance God has provided.  The nation stands to enter into a time of great reward, but first their leaders must bring back a report that will inspire their confidence.”  Specifically: “1 The Lord said to Moses ‘Choose one of the leaders from each of the twelve tribes and send them as spies to explore the land of Canaan, which I am giving to the Israelites.’” Later it says: “27 We checked out the land, just as you’d instructed us to do, and here’s what we discovered: It is rich, very rich. One could say that it flows with milk and honey; and look, here is some of its fruit.  The land is highly desirable, 28but the people who already live there are really strong.  Their cities are enormous and fortified.  What’s more, we saw the Anakites there.  29 In the Negev, there are Amalekites; and in the high hill country are Hittites, Jebusites, and Amorites.  As for the seacoast, Canaanites live there and along the Jordan River too. 30 But Caleb calmed the congregation, and he spoke to Moses.  Caleb: We should go straight in, right away, and take it over.  We are surely able!  Other Scouts: 31No way.  We can’t do it.  The people who are already there are too strong for us.  32So the report of these other scouts was quite disheartening; it made the people question God’s promise.”

Fear created doubt which made the Israelites weak.  It caused them to endure the pain associated with remaining in the desert.  Consequently, their treasures, the Promised Land, were not available to them for another 38 years.  They eventually saw the truth on the banks of the Jordan River three generations later; the same truth that gave Caleb courage decades earlier back in Number 13.  Fast forward a few decades and Joshua 1:1-3 says, “1 After the death of the Lord’s servant Moses, the Lord spoke to Moses’ helper, Joshua son of Nun.2 He said, My servant Moses is dead. Get ready now, you and all the people of Israel, and cross the Jordan River into the land that I am giving them.  3 As I told Moses, I have given you and all my people the entire land that you will be marching over.” (GNT)  Only then did the Israelites wade through the darkness of the desert to arrive into the light of the Promised Land.

The story made me question this: What treasures have eluded me because of doubt or fear?  What areas of my life am I holding back because of insecurity?  How many years have I been held captive by the anxiety of past pain?  How many times am I going to pass up God’s promises because of worry or apprehension – when He has led me to the doorstep of greater things, if only I wrap my heart and mind around the confidence and assurances that come with being a child swaddled in the cradle of His love?

My thoughts on the matter have reminded me of these truths:

  1. The power of prayer will help us to heal the pains of our past.
  2. A spirit of fear is our greatest weakness.
  3. Embrace our struggles because they built our strength.
  4. Boldness is an act of obedience which leads to being beautiful.
  5. Love is our greatest gift.

In Beautiful Things, Gungor tells us: “All this pain, I wonder if I’ll ever find my way?  I wonder if my life could really change at all?  All this earth; could all that is lost ever be found?  Could a garden come up from this ground at all?  All around hope is springing up from this old ground.  Out of chaos life is being found in You.  You make beautiful things…”

Hey beautiful!  Go, be bold.  Step out there.  Pursue your purpose.  Lose the shackles of doubt and fear.  Be free.  His promises are at your feet.  Leave your pain and weaknesses in the desert.  They were your experiences but they do not define you.  Use your power and strength to take what has been set aside for you.  Your gifts await you.  But you must show courage to get them the first time around.  His love will get you there if you simply see it for the truth that it is.

2 Comments   |  tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | posted in essay

May 19, 2014

Ties That Bind

By valencia68

In the (VOICE) prologue of Romans chapter 15, “Paul says he is free to eat, but he is not free to injure another in what he eats.  Personal freedom must always give way to corporate responsibility.  To put it another way, the gospel of love demands that we surrender individual liberties for the sake of our brothers and sisters.  We see this demonstrated powerfully in the example of Jesus who gave up His life and freedom for the sake of the world.  When we live by this ethic, we create a community marked by warmth and hospitality.  Food, drink, and holidays may well be personal options within the kingdom.  But justice, peace, and joy are communal essentials for life in the Kingdom.” 

My good friend and great teacher is also a musician.  I had the great opportunity to attend one of her concert performances last night.  It had been a full day beginning with a graduation followed by a lunch engagement and then the concert.  I had committed to them all, separately, weeks ago.  Although all of them were pleasant and inspiring experiences, the thought of leaving home at 8am on a Saturday, knowing that I wouldn’t return until after 11pm, was cognitively challenging.  However, my long drive home from the concert gave me a chance to reflect on the many blessings laid at my doorstep during the day.

The commencement ceremony was a small celebration with the family and friends of the 250 or so graduates of a local institution of higher learning.  It was a festival of achievement for the 19 to 62 year olds receiving associates to doctoral degrees.  It was a proud moment and a joyous occasion to see the fruits of the hard work and sacrifices that the students as well as their support systems had endured to experience this day.  My friend, married with a 15 month old baby, received her PhD in Information Assurance.  It was a journey of many years, walked on the paving stones of diligence, creativity, tenacity and perseverance.  If the image of her beauty and stateliness in her regalia is indicative of her future impact in her field, this world is guaranteed to become a better place.  I was honored to be there for her and am privileged to be a part of her life’s journey.  My takeaway was the role you play in someone else’s life is not tied to rank, rather the essence of who you are.  Never under-estimate that position!

My lunch engagement was with a close friend and confidante.  Our schedules have been such that we have not been afforded the opportunity to break bread with one another and catch up on the intimacies and intricacies of our lives.  To accentuate the experience, we ate family style at an Ethiopian restaurant; sans dinnerware with injera on our laps.  We spoke of my relational transition and navigating the narrowing and treacherous roads in front of her.

The late day meal and conversation seemed to exponentially slow time compared to the previous seven days.  It was re-enforcement of my yogic lesson of the week of “the space between our thoughts is where the learning occurs.”  Prior to receiving and practicing that lesson, my mind had a hum that was louder than usual.  The audio was as if an entire hive of bees had commandeered the microphone connected to my inner ears.  The visual was like trying to read fast-moving ticker tape in Sanskrit or Arabic, where I could not tell where one word ended or another began.  I had also been having recurring dreams of the downward curvature of words that ended with a period.  In the dreams, the words were in English but I could not read them.  I knew that the part I could see was a fragment, but I didn’t know if it was designed that way or if I was only able to see a portion of a complete message.

Stillness after the meal allowed me to practice the lesson. I was then able to understand the dream as well as the essence of the engagement.  I knew that the punctuation of the mind creates the clarity that allows growth.  In other words, symbols are given to us that warn us or cause us to stop.  The cessation of motion does not impede forward progress, rather it allows it.  Without an understanding of where one thing stops and another begins, we would have no clarity or discernment and our thoughts and lives would run in perpetual, nonsensical circles; i.e., slow your roll.

Near dusk, I finally made it to the concert.  It was a locally sponsored private outdoor musical event held on acreage adjacent to the host’s residence.  There were 15 to 20 guests in attendance.  My friend and her band of professional musicians entertained and enthralled us for two hours with titillating originals and sultry cover songs.  The purity of her voice and the creativity of the music, through the backdrop of a star-dazzled sky on this crisp spring night, stirred my heart and warmed my soul.  As I began to formulate the question asking why she was not playing to a larger audience or on a national stage, the thought collapsed on itself and dissipated – thankfully.  In that moment, I realized that my friend is a highly accomplished musician who was gracious enough to invite me to a private showcase of her music.  She is not in search of stardom because she is already there.

After the thought marinated in my mind for a few moments, the band played a Curtis Mayfield song – and the lesson hit me like a ton of bricks: There is a distinction between making it and being discovered.  There have been several people who have made it in their field who have been great influencers in my life.  I have been acquainted with a few people who have been discovered and although they did well in their own right, they pale in comparison to the numbers of influencers.

Today, the notorious names are factoids discussed over cocktails while the influencers are household names who have made a difference in my lineage and legacy.  Curtis Mayfield was my uncle’s mentor and frequently visited my grandmother’s house; my mother went to high school with former Oakland A’s baseball player Dave Winfield; my cousin dated rapper M.C. Hammer’s brother; singer Larry Graham from Sly and the Family Stone sang at another cousin’s wedding; etc.  I met these folks but I don’t have a relationship with them.  However, it is the many unnamed villagers who nestled me in, loved me and provided structure and sustenance to bring me this far.  It is to them that I owe so much.

The long drive home helped me to bring the cascade of thoughts, experiences, and lessons together:

  1. Dream big and dare to fail
  2. We each play a significant role in the lives of those around us
  3. The small sacrifices we make for one another pay forward huge dividends
  4. Time is not ours to make, take, spend, or save.  Instead, give this moment 60 seconds worth of distance run
  5. We are called, not to reason why, but to tie ourselves together and bind as the fabric of His community
  6. He uses entire villages to support just one of His children – but each one counts
  7. The worth of the individual in His community cannot be calculated in currency
  8. Our small acts of obedience are large cries of worship to Him

Jason Gray sums it up with Every Act of Love, “I said, God put a million, million doors in the world for his love to walk through; one of those doors is you.  Oh – we bring the Kingdom come; Oh – with every act of love.  Jesus help us carry You alive in us.  Your light shines through; with every act of love we bring the Kingdom come.”  Romans 15:1-6 says, “1-2Those of us who are strong and able in the faith need to step in and lend a hand to those who falter, and not just do what is most convenient for us.  Strength is for service, not status.  Each one of us needs to look after the good of the people around us, asking ourselves, ‘How can I help?’  3-6 That’s exactly what Jesus did.  He didn’t make it easy for himself by avoiding people’s troubles, but waded right in and helped out.  ‘I took on the troubles of the troubled,’ is the way Scripture puts it.  Even if it was written in Scripture long ago, you can be sure it’s written for us.  God wants the combination of his steady, constant calling and warm, personal counsel in Scripture to come to characterize us, keeping us alert for whatever he will do next.  May our dependably steady and warmly personal God develop maturity in you so that you get along with each other as well as Jesus gets along with us all.  Then we’ll be a choir—not our voices only, but our very lives singing in harmony in a stunning anthem to the God and Father of our Master Jesus!”  (MSG)

Leave a comment   |  tags: , , , , , , , , | posted in essay

May 18, 2014

From Breslau, with love

By valencia68

“On the question of relating to our fellowman – our neighbor’s spiritual need transcends every commandment.  Everything else we do is a means to an end.  But love is an end already, since God is love” – Edith Stein.

God created us to live in community with one another.  We are all souls created in His image.  He uses others to guide us and light the path beneath our feet – a path that leads back to the foot of the cross, a place of love.  In Home, Daughtry sums it up well with, “The miles are getting longer, it seems, the closer I get to you.  I’ve not always been the best man or friend for you.  But your love it makes true and I don’t know why.  You always seem to give me another try.  So I’m going home, back to the place where I belong and where your love has always been enough for me.  I’m not running from, no, I think you got me all wrong; I don’t regret this life I chose for me.  But these places and these faces are getting old.  So I’m going home.” 

Last week I had the chance to speak with a mentor and friend from 35 years ago.  She is a woman of great wisdom, patience and insight who has a keen understanding of long-term investment.  In my formative years, she spent a lot of time imparting lessons on me that she knew very well I didn’t understand.  Nonetheless, she passed the information on with the determination to prepare me for my future, holding out hope that understanding would come.  Although my talents and gifting seemed light years away from coming together, she knew that time would pass quickly and seemingly in the blink of an eye, God would put those pieces together with dime-size precision.  When I look in the rear view mirror at that part of my journey, I see an assertive but confused little person, caught up in the fog of war, who lacked the ability to discern the Commander’s intent.  Having figuratively and literally been through war, she saw an enterprising pre-teen who would go on to do great things.

Our conversation was both intimate and inspiring.  As she did years ago, she repeated last week.  She filled my basket with more than I could consume in the moment, knowing that I would use it to feed the future.  Specifically, she reminding me that:

  1. Hope is a necessary virtue.
  2. Nothing here is ours.
  3. The Lord gives quiet assistance.
  4. My only cut card is love.
  5. We need time with Him to sustain working for Him.
  6. Do not concern yourself with what you may lose when there is so much to gain.

By the end of our conversation, I realized we were no longer the old lady and the girl, but rather two friends from different generations sharing similar experiences.  Her patience with me as a child taught me that there is something deeper than disagreement.  Her insights and experiences shared with me as an adult made me know there is something beautiful in connection.  Proverbs 3:13-18 tells us, “You’re blessed when you meet Lady Wisdom, when you make friends with Madame Insight.  She’s worth far more than money in the bank; her friendship is better than a big salary.  Her value exceeds all the trappings of wealth; nothing you could wish for holds a candle to her.  With one hand she gives long life, with the other she confers recognition.  Her manner is beautiful, her life wonderfully complete.  She’s the very Tree of Life to those who embrace her.  Hold her tight—and be blessed!” (MSG)

My reflection on the conversation drove home the notion that life’s journey is not a series of unplanned disjointed twists and turns, trips and blunders, setbacks and disappointments, triumphs and victories, and achievements and successes.  Instead, it is a highly planned, coherently organized movement of people, places, and things, designed to bring us back to Him.  God uses the bumps to slow us down and redirect us and the open-country road to build us up and encourage us.  Ellie Holcomb in The Broken Beautiful says it so well:  “I’m better off when I begin to remember how You have met me in my deepest pain.  So give me glimpses now of how You have covered all of my heart ache, oh with all Your grace.  Remind me now that You can make a way.  That Your love will never change, that there’s healing in your name; that You can take broken things, and make them beautiful.  You took my shame and You walked out of the grave.  So Your love can take broken things and make them beautiful.  You say that You’ll turn my weeping into dancing; remove my sadness & cover me with joy.  You say your scars are the evidence of healing; that You can make the broken beautiful.”

Life is not a linear, even-paced walk.  We will stumble into the valley as much as we walk on the mountaintop.  When the going gets rough and forward progress seems like an impossibility, God doesn’t just tell us to find a way.  He makes one for us.  He places teachers, mentors, and sponsors on our path; people who light the way, hold our hands, sing praises of encouragement, and show us that “it” can be done.  He places them there to soothe our misplaced aggression, bandage our bruises, lighten our spirits, and give us wings to fly.

Like my teacher and friend (and her mentor), we are all built to be blessings to one another.  So get going!  Soar high and generously sprinkle His love on everyone you encounter.  Be a Godly teacher, mentor, or sponsor and friend in your next human engagement.  Share your story of God’s love and grace with those you meet.  Do so and your actions will teach people this:  “I am Lady Wisdom, and I live next to Sanity; Knowledge and Discretion live just down the street.  The Fear-of-God means hating Evil, whose ways I hate with a passion — pride and arrogance and crooked talk.  Good counsel and common sense are my characteristics; I am both Insight and the Virtue to live it out.  With my help, leaders rule, and lawmakers legislate fairly; With my help, governors govern, along with all in legitimate authority.  I love those who love me; those who look for me find me.  Wealth and Glory accompany me — also substantial Honor and a Good Name.  My benefits are worth more than a big salary, even a very big salary; the returns on me exceed any imaginable bonus.  You can find me on Righteous Road — that’s where I walk — at the intersection of Justice Avenue, Handing out life to those who love me, filling their arms with life—armloads of life!” (Proverbs 8:12-21 – MSG).  Thank you, my friend!

Leave a comment   |  tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | posted in essay

May 6, 2014

Rolling in the Deep, part II

By valencia68

As I look out over the ocean and watch the waves crash ashore, I wonder what makes them do that.  Although I could learn more from a book or online, I already know that the energy that drives them is deep-rooted and their power is strongly tied to their reason for existence.  This cascade of thoughts brought me back to the principle that “a person’s greatest place of pain is their greatest place of power and their area of weakness is their area of gifting.”

After weeks of musing this notion, I have learned that deep-thinking, perception, introspection, reflection, and intuition are the stronger parts of my power center.  A calm demeanor and a warm, welcoming smile are spokes in my gifting wheel.  Speed and seeking results to the exclusion of relationships are certainly some of my weaknesses.  And pain, well we will get to that.

Although I believe there is much more searching to do in dark places to discover my treasures, the few I have found are helping me to uncover my purpose.  Based on what I know today, I believe a large part of my purpose is about loving His people.  As Force Family 5 tells us in Let it be Love, “I’ve never seen a soul set free through an argument.  I’ve never seen a hurt get healed in a protest.  But I’ve seen sinners turned to saints because of grace.  It’s love, love that lights the way – Love that lights the way.  Let it be our arms wide open, bigger than the words we’ve spoken.  Let it be our heart for the broken, If we’re gonna light, light, light the way to You.  Let it be love…Nothing but love…It’s love that lights the way.  It’s not about the stand we take, but the grace we give.  It’s not about the name we make, but the life we live.  Heard about a King who stepped down, took my place; True Love gave His life away.  It’s love that lights the way.”  

How are those talents unique?  How can they be used to achieve my purpose?  The answer begins with prayer and an intentional shift to a relationship orientation.   Galatians 5:13-14 tells us, “13 Brothers and sisters, God has called you to freedom!  Hear the call, and do not spoil this gift by using your liberty to engage in what your flesh desires; instead, use it to serve each other as Jesus taught through love.  14 For the whole law comes down to this one instruction: “Love your neighbor as yourself,”” (The Voice)

Now….let’s examine this a little closer.  We’ve all heard it, “we were not built to be an island.”  Humans have an intrinsic desire for connection.  However, typically those that are closest to us hurt us the most.  How can we gain power from pain inflicted by those who claim to love and care for us?  Well, here is an example of how it may work:  an older relative teases us relentlessly about being overweight as a child (that’s a point of pain).  In our youth, we learn how to control our conditions and circumstances in extreme ways, i.e. over-eating, anorexia, bulimia, etc.  Thankfully through maturity, that control turns into positive influence – relating to, gently guiding, and teaching those around us to more constructive outlets (that’s power).

What about the connection of weakness to gifting?  For instance, speed like most other things, has a light and shadow side.  When it is used to blow past people for the purpose of preventing or controlling connections to other humans, it is a weakness.  For a while, this weakness seems to work in our favor because we move about unimpeded while capturing meaningless results.  Then illness or some other misfortune stops us dead in our tracks and we have to heavily rely on another.  In our stillness, we look into the eyes of our helper and connect with her.  She teaches us, through patience and grace, that we are all reliant upon each other in some way for something.  In the quiet of a night during our convalescence, we wrestle with the lessons given to us.  We roll a little deeper and begin to peel back the layers of emotions covered that caused us to speed through life so fast that the seal of feelings between us and those around us could not ever tighten.  What we learn in those dark moments is that we have a trough full of love, disguised as wisdom and ideas, that is eagerly and anxiously waiting to be shared.  Until that precious point in time, we simply were never willing to risk being vulnerable enough to examine the real truth.  Instead, we had relied upon the deception of fear (False Evidence Appearing Real), something that prevented us from giving away the gifts provided to us for the benefit of others.  Our biggest take away is that exposure doesn’t kill us, but instead makes of stronger.  Ecclesiastes 7:18-20 tells us, “18 Avoid both extremes.  If you have reverence for God, you will be successful anyway.  19 Wisdom does more for a person than ten rulers can do for a city.  20There is no one on earth who does what is right all the time and never makes a mistake.”  (GNT)

Let’s look at another example:  Someone close to us always uses a quixotic approach to life’s issues.  At every turn, there is a great hype at the presentation of another dream pursued.  Each pursuit causes continuous and major setbacks.  The ripple effect of the nostalgic impracticality causes the innocent to ride mediocre waves that violently crash ashore.  If this is our plight, anytime we feel the slightest bit of instability, we use the art of disengagement to prevent others from hurting us.  Unfortunately, life is full of rocky roads and unstable ground.  When we push back at the slightest hint of a tremor, we learn not to see relationships through (that’s weakness).  We never learn that tenacity or perseverance while loving others are tenets that are helpful to our lives.  As we move through life, we realize that others’ idealisms are medicated approaches to situations that lack meaningful connections and/or true sense of community.  The decisions made to eradicate loneliness turned out to be more like a seaward bound rip current – a powerful swell that grows while the ignorant and unsuspecting are violently tossed about in their wake.  To cope, we turn inward.  Others simply see a smile and don’t understand the emptiness and anguish behind it.  To the owner, it begs for relief.

Through reflection, we discover that a smile is worthless and deceptive if it is given without love and with an expectation of something in return.  On a leap of faith, we suspend judgment, slow down, smile, and ask a question of someone else that allows them to share authentically and connect with us.  Miraculously, we gain a new perspective on our gifting and we see love through different lenses.  Among the Thirsty says it so well in That’s what Love Looks Like, “Maybe it’s a Father working through the long night; maybe it’s a Mother trying to raise her kids right; maybe it’s a prayer on a long drive home.  Maybe it’s a soldier fighting on the front line; maybe it’s a preacher laying down his own life; maybe when You gave Your Son to die – That’s what love looks like.”

So stick with me! I am definitely on a roll and am headed deeper than ever before.  I won’t promise that I will take you where no man has ever gone before, but I am committed to exploring this adventure fully.  Proverbs 2:1-11 says,“My son, if you accept what I am telling you and store my counsel and directives deep within you; 2 If you listen for Lady Wisdom, attune your ears to her, and engage your mind to understand what she is telling you; 3 If you cry out to her for insight and beg for understanding; 4 If you sift through the clamor of everything around you to seek her like some precious prize, to search for her like buried treasure; 5 Then you will grasp what it means to truly respect the Eternal, and you will have discovered the knowledge of the one True God.  6 The Eternal is ready to share His wisdom with us, for His words bring true knowledge and insight; 7 He has stored up the essentials of sound wisdom for those who do right; He acts as a shield for those who value integrity.  8 God protects the paths of those who pursue justice, watching over the lives of those who keep faith with Him.  9 With this wisdom you will be able to choose the right road, seek justice, and decide what is good and fair 10 because wisdom will penetrate deep within and knowledge will become a good friend to your soul.  11 Sound judgment will stand guard over you, and understanding will watch over you as the Lord promised.” (VOICE)

Leave a comment   |  tags: , , , , , , , , | posted in essay

April 7, 2014

Curbside Justice

By valencia68

Yesterday, after returning from a women’s retreat that included a three-hour drive through the Allegany Mountains, I stopped by the store to pick up a few items. As I approached the entrance, I saw a familiar face strolling along the curbside headed towards the same entry door. It was one of the store cashiers who was returning from a break. She was talking on her cell phone to someone about issues related to a job corps. I entered the store and went on my way to get my groceries.

When I completed my shopping, I noticed that same cashier had opened a lane and was wiping down the counters while waiting for a customer to arrive. Although no one was waiting in her line, I passed her register so I wouldn’t have to face the social ills that make me uncomfortable. You see, a few weeks earlier, I was at her register and noticed she had bruises on her neck and chest and her arm was in a bandage. When I asked her what happened, she said she was clumsy and had fallen down the stairs. The shapes and location of her bruising made her story implausible. What challenged the strength of my heart strings even more is that she had severe dental issues and appeared to be six months pregnant or two days postpartum. My lack of desire for seeing her bilious condition is what caused me to pass her register. Then the parable of the Good Samaritan came to mind. Luke 10:30-35 says, “30 This fellow was traveling down from Jerusalem to Jericho when some robbers mugged him. They took his clothes, beat him to a pulp, and left him naked and bleeding and in critical condition. 31 By chance, a priest was going down that same road, and when he saw the wounded man, he crossed over to the other side and passed by. 32 Then a Levite who was on his way to assist in the temple also came and saw the victim lying there, and he too kept his distance. 33 Then a despised Samaritan journeyed by. When he saw the fellow, he felt compassion for him. 34 The Samaritan went over to him, stopped the bleeding, applied some first aid, and put the poor fellow on his donkey. He brought the man to an inn and cared for him through the night. 35 The next day, the Samaritan took out some money—two days’ wages to be exact—and paid the innkeeper, saying, “Please take care of this fellow, and if this isn’t enough, I’ll repay you next time I pass through.” (The Voice)

Feeling convicted, I prayed Give Me Your Eyes by Brandon Heath as a prayer. It says, “Give me Your eyes for just one second. Give me Your eyes so I can see everything that I keep missing. Give me Your love for humanity. Give me Your arms for the broken-hearted; the ones that are far beyond my reach. Give me Your heart for the ones forgotten. Give me Your eyes so I can see.” My grandmother’s voice then spoke to me and said, “If you don’t get your rump back there…” My mind shrieked back, “But I have nothing to give!”

Still feeling anxious about what I would encounter and what God might call me to do, in an act of obedience, I turned my cart around and went to her lane (all the while praying that I would have a genuine and positive reaction to her.) I then asked God again to allow me to see her through His eyes.

She courteously greeted me. As I stood in front of her and she would not make eye contact with me, I quickly realized that injustice in her life was all too common. Her alcohol-atrophied skin, meth-ravaged teeth, and native Virginia dialect that made southern Ebonics sound like the king’s English, told a story of perpetual marginalization of a disenfranchised life.

James 2:18-20 tells us, 18 “I know what you’re thinking: ‘OK, you have faith. And I have actions. Now let’s see your faith without works, and I’ll show you a faith that works.’  Don’t you realize that faith without works is useless, like a glove without a hand or a hat without a head?  19 Do you think that just believing there’s one God is going to get you anywhere? The demons believe that, too, and it terrifies them!  20 The fact is, faith has to show itself through works performed in faith.  If you don’t recognize that, then you’re an empty soul.” (The Voice)

I first noticed that her stomach was flat. I wondered if she lost her baby or circumstances required her to return to work immediately after delivery. I didn’t ask, I just prayed. I also saw that her previously bandaged forearm had a Japanese script tattoo. When I asked her the significance of it, her gaze raised from foot level to knee level as she told me it was her name. I asked when she got it, where she is from, and if she gets to see her family often? With each question answered, her line of sight adjusted to my waist, then chest, then shoulders. When she finished ringing me up and handed me my receipt, I told her thank you. I pushed my cart a few feet as she began helping the next person in line. I paused, called her by name and said, “have a nice evening.” She smiled, looked over her shoulder into my eyes and with great sincerity said, “Thank you so much.” I then realized I did have something to give. I gave her basic human dignity and respect.

The encounter made me understand that justice is best administered through the fruits of the holy spirit and that injustice is caused by a deprivation of the fruits. The experience left me with this:

  1. This world is not just but we can bring moments of justice to it
  2. Regardless of one’s condition, love has a soothing essence
  3. Every moment is an opportunity to disburse kindness, goodness, and gentleness
  4. Curbsides and mountainsides are equal when it comes to sending and receiving joy, peace, and patience
  5. Faithfulness and self-control go a long way in building His Kingdom

Margaret Anderson says, “As I look at the human story I see two stories.  They run parallel and never meet.  One is of people who live, as they can or must, the events that arrive; the other is of people who live, as they intend, the events they create.” In the Kingdom of God, the two are designed to meet and on His demand, frequently do. Proverbs 30:12-13 reminds us just how close we are with, “12 Don’t imagine yourself to be quite presentable when you haven’t had a bath in weeks. 13 Don’t be stuck-up and think you’re better than everyone else.” (MSG)

2 Comments   |  tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | posted in essay

March 25, 2014

Shaken (Not Stirred)

By valencia68

Have you ever shown up, rearing to go – with an agenda in hand, prepared to predict others’ next moves and control the outcome of the experience you’ve just entered – only to encounter others who seem to be ill-prepared, slow on the uptake, or just flat-out lost? All too often, we start our days with a clean slate that we quickly fill up with our “to do” lists. We draw a small square and write the task next to it. Once the task is complete, we mark it off by placing an X inside the square. The object is to have as many boxes with Xs as possible at the end of the day. On those days, accomplishments mean the most. We don’t even consider the miniscule effort it would take to initiate an exchange with those running, seemingly stuck, in first gear. What does it take…a little patience.

What about the souls impacted by the pursuit of results that ignores their present day experience and lacks the attention, compassion, and kindness needed to embrace them into this moment? In that instance, what we don’t know may not hurt us but it could feel crushing to them. What we don’t know is what it took for them just to show up and be physically present in the situation that you and I are hurriedly moving and check-listing our way through. We think that slowing down and connecting causes us to lose time; when in fact, it more likely causes us to gain connection with the fragile souls around us. A sixty-second conversation, a slight touch of the hand, a smile, a soft-spoken “hello”… What does it take…a little kindness and attention.

Instead of listening and being a witness, we act… as the final arbiter. What we see, we label. What we hear, we snicker at. What we think we know, we judge. The reality is typically a deprivation of some sort resulting in a fog of confusion that consumes the rocky path that is this person’s journey right now. Our insensitivity can create storms of fear and shame of colossal proportion that causes greater withdrawal into the internal killing fields of doubt and regret located in their empty or broken hearts. Our harsh words sound like the echo of thunder. Our insensitive tone scorches like a bolt of lightning – feeling like the swell of misery or a flood of destruction. Some hide the pain behind good manners with a smile while others change colors and lose affect. Some resiliently snap back. Others, well…not so much. What does it take…a little sensitivity.

Job 16:3-5 tells us, “3 Your long speeches never end! Why do you continue arguing? 4 I also could say the same things you say, if you had my troubles. I could say wise things against you and shake my head at you. 5 But I would say things to encourage you and give you hope. (ERV)

MercyMe captures the thoughts of the resilient with faith, praying for escape, but who were blessed with the upbringing in His teachings in I can Only Imagine:

I can only imagine what it will be like when I walk by your side. I can only imagine what my eyes will see when your face is before me. I can only imagine… Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel? Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still? Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall? Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all? I can only imagine…

Oh how blessed we are when we encounter the resilient. They are the faces of God’s grace. Because of the single set of footprints in the sand, we are able to push the restart button; the one that allows us to say, “I’m sorry! Let me try this again”; one that allows the tape to replay carols of compassion instead of chords of criticism, the harmony of forgiveness instead of the sharpness of fear, or melodies of stillness instead of the staccato of shame. Psalm 37:24-26 tells us, “24 If they fall, it isn’t fatal, for the Lord holds them with his hand. 25 I have been young and now I am old. And in all my years I have never seen the Lord forsake a man who loves him; nor have I seen the children of the godly go hungry. 26 Instead, the godly are able to be generous with their gifts and loans to others, and their children are a blessing. (TLB) What does it take…a little compassion.

I dare not mention the frail. We have not walked a mile in their moccasins and therefore do not know their circuitous, tumultuous journey or their condition upon arrival. Third Day illustrates this point in I Need A Miracle when they sing: He lost his job and all he had in the fall of ’09. Now he feared the worst, that he would lose his children and his wife. So he drove down deep into the woods and thought he’d end it all and prayed, “Lord above, I need a miracle”. Through love, we can be that miracle. Our requirement is to refrain from placing His children in boxes and to put away the Xs. They are His essence, not inane objects bristled between tasks. We all have hearts that pump blood and chambers that long for trust-filled loving connections. A little warmth, kind words, and a smile may serve to obscure the shelves that house permanent solutions when temporary problems are all that are on the table. Hebrews 12:14-15 calls us to: “14 Pursue the goal of peace along with everyone… 15 Make sure that no one misses out on God’s grace…” (CEB) What does it take…a little love.

This recent revelation has led me to understand that we are called to:

  1. Serve as guiding lights to one another; not to serve as driving rains that obscure the vision of others and make their paths slick
  2. Serve with patience, kindness, compassion and sensitivity
  3. Pave the road according to His will, not our agenda
  4. Recognize that we each have different talents and separate challenges And
  5. Remember to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace

Storms will blow in with gale force winds that lift the covers of certainty off our circumstances. The driving rains will spin our schedules into a whirlpool that drains our best laid plans. Hurricanes will blow ashore and knock out our power for long periods. Torrential downpours will cause landslides that we may never fully recover from. With capacity, faith, and other followers, weathering the storms is merely a foot race. Without the capacity to have faith, followers must be the candlelight for others from the edges to the eye.

Whether this seems sobering or intoxicating, a cocktail of one part forgiveness, one part faith, and two parts love, shaken (not stirred) over cubes of His grace, creates a smooth thirst-quencher that is easy for any consumer to swallow. Psalm 107:28-30 says 28 Then they cry to the Lord in their trouble, and he saves them. 29 He calms the storm and stills the waves. 30 What a blessing is that stillness as he brings them safely into harbor! (TLB)

4 Comments   |  tags: , , , , , | posted in essay